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MAN: Right, sorry,
so the show's on the 16th.
4
00:00:23,962 --> 00:00:25,837
And what... Is it a festival, is it?
5
00:00:29,587 --> 00:00:31,296
How many people
would you expect from...
6
00:00:31,421 --> 00:00:33,921
From start to finish, how many people
would you expect?
7
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,587
We'll say 4,000?
8
00:00:38,712 --> 00:00:40,504
Keep it going.
9
00:00:40,629 --> 00:00:43,546
No worries. Now, is alcohol being
served at the event?
10
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:48,254
No, it's all being charged.
It's a bar, is it?
11
00:00:49,629 --> 00:00:51,587
Uh, is there food...
is there food being served?
12
00:00:53,296 --> 00:00:55,462
Good quality food,
or probably just junk food?
13
00:00:55,587 --> 00:00:58,087
Chips and... pizzas. Yeah.
14
00:00:59,962 --> 00:01:04,337
And, uh, have you got any
Indonesian foods or curries?
15
00:01:04,462 --> 00:01:06,796
You have? Alright.
16
00:01:06,921 --> 00:01:09,587
Well, normally, if it was
a non-drinking event,
17
00:01:09,712 --> 00:01:11,129
as far as alcohol,
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00:01:11,254 --> 00:01:13,046
and there was
no food or curries,
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00:01:13,171 --> 00:01:14,671
for 4,000 people for 10 hours,
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00:01:14,796 --> 00:01:17,671
you'd have five male
and five female blocks.
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00:01:17,796 --> 00:01:20,796
But you've got alcohol
being served,
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00:01:20,921 --> 00:01:24,546
as well as the food and you've got
curries in there as well,
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00:01:24,671 --> 00:01:26,337
which does make
a bit of a difference.
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00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:31,546
And on the, uh... on the solid
to water-based
25
00:01:31,671 --> 00:01:35,004
or liquid waste ratio,
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00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,587
you've got a 4 to 1.
27
00:01:36,712 --> 00:01:39,421
So it's basically
four liquid to one solid.
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00:01:39,546 --> 00:01:42,421
That's the piss and shit ratio, yeah.
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00:01:51,754 --> 00:01:54,796
People... I must admit,
when people find out what I do,
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00:01:54,921 --> 00:01:57,587
I mean, when they ask
what I do, I say I'm a plumber,
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00:01:57,671 --> 00:01:59,837
and they say, "Well,
that'd be pretty interesting"'
32
00:01:59,962 --> 00:02:01,379
and I say,
"Well, not that interesting,
33
00:02:01,504 --> 00:02:03,379
"'cause all I plumb
is shithouses."
34
00:02:03,504 --> 00:02:05,712
As you can see,
we've got a lot of blocks here.
35
00:02:05,837 --> 00:02:07,296
We've just gotta find
one more combo unit
36
00:02:07,421 --> 00:02:08,879
and we're on our way.
37
00:02:10,754 --> 00:02:12,796
Where is the bastard?
38
00:02:12,921 --> 00:02:15,754
How do you lose a 40ft toilet?
39
00:02:15,879 --> 00:02:18,754
Yeah, most people...
they always freak out
40
00:02:18,879 --> 00:02:21,046
because, of course, they think
you're handling the stuff.
41
00:02:21,171 --> 00:02:23,379
They think... I don't know
whether they think I eat it
42
00:02:23,504 --> 00:02:25,587
or whether they think
I scrub it on meself.
43
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,129
You know, I plumb it.
44
00:02:27,254 --> 00:02:30,254
See? Here's another
classic example.
45
00:02:30,379 --> 00:02:32,379
Someone having a 2-inch arsehole
46
00:02:32,504 --> 00:02:35,171
and us only having installed
1 -inch piping.
47
00:02:35,254 --> 00:02:37,462
As much as people think
you're covered in shit and piss,
48
00:02:37,587 --> 00:02:38,504
you're not.
49
00:02:38,629 --> 00:02:40,754
It's 85% of it's water.
50
00:02:40,879 --> 00:02:44,296
85 and in some instances
up to 90% water.
51
00:02:44,421 --> 00:02:45,837
I know that leaves around
52
00:02:45,962 --> 00:02:47,962
about 10% to 15%
of shit and piss,
53
00:02:48,087 --> 00:02:50,629
but there's some chemicals
in there that work on that.
54
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,962
See, this is what we spend
half our time cleaning up.
55
00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:55,504
How hard is it?
56
00:02:55,629 --> 00:02:58,296
I mean, I don't mean to be
straight up about it,
57
00:02:58,421 --> 00:02:59,837
but, I mean, there's a urinal -
58
00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:02,337
you stand here
and, being a male,
59
00:03:02,462 --> 00:03:04,879
you've got a prong on you
which points forward,
60
00:03:05,004 --> 00:03:07,421
so I don't understand
how they get it under their feet.
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00:03:07,546 --> 00:03:09,796
They must point it down.
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00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:12,171
The funny part is,
parents look at me, you know,
63
00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:14,546
and say, "Well, that's not
much of a job, is it?
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00:03:14,671 --> 00:03:16,212
"Did you wish
you did something else?"
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00:03:16,337 --> 00:03:18,421
I said, "Well, you had kids.
66
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:21,587
"You spent the first two years
handling their shit.
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00:03:21,712 --> 00:03:23,379
"And you weren't
getting paid for that."
68
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,629
And they're... they shit green.
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00:03:25,754 --> 00:03:27,421
Only thing
that's supposed to be green
70
00:03:27,546 --> 00:03:30,421
is apples, pears and Martians.
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00:03:34,171 --> 00:03:35,712
Stay there.
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00:03:35,837 --> 00:03:36,796
Yo!
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00:03:36,921 --> 00:03:38,379
That's the one.
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00:03:38,504 --> 00:03:40,421
Pretty lonely old job, this.
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00:03:40,546 --> 00:03:42,587
We're here before
the crowds get here
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00:03:42,712 --> 00:03:44,462
and we're the last to leave.
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00:03:45,587 --> 00:03:47,629
We miss out on all the fun,
don't we, Alf?
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00:03:47,754 --> 00:03:48,712
Yeah.
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00:03:51,671 --> 00:03:53,962
Yeah, shut her off, Alfie,
she's all done, mate.
80
00:03:59,004 --> 00:04:02,046
Just make sure you stock up
all the poo tickets, boys.
81
00:04:02,171 --> 00:04:04,337
This one's gonna get
a fiogging today.
82
00:04:07,337 --> 00:04:10,712
Yeah, well, this is where most of the
paperwork gets done,
83
00:04:10,837 --> 00:04:11,754
obviously.
84
00:04:11,879 --> 00:04:16,504
This is the... realistically, the sciatic
nerve of Splashdown.
85
00:04:17,629 --> 00:04:20,212
What we do, normally
it's corporate bathroom rentals.
86
00:04:20,337 --> 00:04:21,921
I mean, at the end of the day,
87
00:04:22,046 --> 00:04:26,171
it's just a fancy way of having
somewhere to shit, isn't it?
88
00:04:26,296 --> 00:04:28,379
Having a nice place to purge.
89
00:04:28,504 --> 00:04:30,171
But, uh, I mean,
other companies...
90
00:04:30,296 --> 00:04:32,129
Up in Sydney there's one
that has a slogan -
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00:04:32,254 --> 00:04:34,712
'We're number one
with your number twos'.
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00:04:34,837 --> 00:04:37,421
I prefer not to spend
too long in the office.
93
00:04:37,546 --> 00:04:38,962
I prefer working outside,
94
00:04:39,087 --> 00:04:41,296
but this is obviously where the real
business end gets done,
95
00:04:41,421 --> 00:04:42,379
so to speak.
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00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,129
Doesn't matter
how big the event is
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00:04:58,254 --> 00:04:59,796
or how important the event is,
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00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:02,087
be it a corporate event
or a concert,
99
00:05:02,212 --> 00:05:04,171
you would think that
we'd be the first thing
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00:05:04,296 --> 00:05:05,712
that people would think of
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00:05:05,837 --> 00:05:07,879
because it's the one thing
everyone does on most days -
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00:05:08,004 --> 00:05:11,004
à la me, 10am, every morning,
regular as clockwork.
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00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:14,629
It's never the first thing
on their mind,
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00:05:14,754 --> 00:05:18,087
when, realistically, it should be
the first thing they think of,
105
00:05:18,212 --> 00:05:19,712
because if we don't turn up,
106
00:05:19,837 --> 00:05:21,921
grab the business
and get going with it,
107
00:05:22,046 --> 00:05:23,962
well, they really are in the shit,
aren't they?
108
00:05:57,712 --> 00:06:00,504
We've got a bit of a drive here
109
00:06:00,629 --> 00:06:02,587
because we've gotta
drop this load off
110
00:06:02,712 --> 00:06:05,712
at mama and papa poo
in Werribee.
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00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:13,587
Funny thing is, a lot of people
use the word 'shit' now
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00:06:13,712 --> 00:06:16,671
of course as an abusive word,
you know, as a swear word -
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00:06:16,796 --> 00:06:18,754
the sort of word you wanna
keep away from kiddies.
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00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,296
But the funny part is,
where it came from
115
00:06:21,421 --> 00:06:24,671
was when they started to transport
manure in the ships
116
00:06:24,796 --> 00:06:26,879
so they could use it
to fertilise gardens.
117
00:06:27,004 --> 00:06:29,379
Problem was, moisture
would get in from the boat,
118
00:06:29,504 --> 00:06:30,921
into the bottom of the boat
119
00:06:31,046 --> 00:06:34,004
and mix up with some of the manure
they were transporting,
120
00:06:34,129 --> 00:06:37,129
and it would start to ferment
and it would cause a gas,
121
00:06:37,254 --> 00:06:38,671
and the problem was
122
00:06:38,796 --> 00:06:40,546
if someone went down there
with a candle
123
00:06:40,671 --> 00:06:43,046
or lit a match or had a pipe
or something down there,
124
00:06:43,171 --> 00:06:45,837
sometimes it ignited and there was an
explosion on the boat.
125
00:06:45,962 --> 00:06:48,421
After that,
they put all the crap in boxes
126
00:06:48,546 --> 00:06:51,962
and it had 'SHIT''
written on the side of the box
127
00:06:52,087 --> 00:06:54,754
and that stood for
'store High In Transit'.
128
00:06:54,837 --> 00:06:56,504
And that's where
it got its name from.
129
00:06:56,629 --> 00:06:58,212
So... I don't know
whether there's any truth
130
00:06:58,337 --> 00:06:59,754
to that story or not,
131
00:06:59,879 --> 00:07:02,587
but it's a pretty elaborate,
you know, lie.
132
00:07:02,712 --> 00:07:05,837
Bit of a long-winded set-up if
someone's made that story up.
133
00:07:05,962 --> 00:07:07,421
I'm going with it.
134
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:12,254
Yeah, so, I'm having to work
a little bit of overtime tonight
135
00:07:12,379 --> 00:07:15,587
just to get a couple
of extra toilets ready.
136
00:07:15,712 --> 00:07:17,671
We've got a heap of them
going out next week.
137
00:07:17,796 --> 00:07:20,587
As you can see, the kids...
I don't know what they do.
138
00:07:20,712 --> 00:07:23,129
They've broken through
that one. They do all sorts...
139
00:07:23,254 --> 00:07:25,546
Oh, have a look at this one.
You won't believe this.
140
00:07:25,671 --> 00:07:28,087
Have a look at this. This one
I replaced this morning.
141
00:07:28,212 --> 00:07:30,504
Look at that! Eh?
142
00:07:30,629 --> 00:07:33,046
What kind of curry
has that bloke been eating?
143
00:07:33,171 --> 00:07:36,462
Devil's curry.
Hell's teeth, I tell you.
144
00:07:36,587 --> 00:07:40,087
I've never understood why
people all carry on about it.
145
00:07:40,212 --> 00:07:43,296
I... I enjoy a good crap,
to be quite honest.
146
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,671
I not only enjoy it, I love it.
147
00:07:45,796 --> 00:07:48,712
I don't think
it's all pain and anger.
148
00:07:48,837 --> 00:07:52,587
Me, personally, I sit on a toilet
for 20-odd minutes,
149
00:07:52,712 --> 00:07:54,129
as most men can.
150
00:07:54,254 --> 00:07:55,796
Do you know,
it's an interesting fact,
151
00:07:55,921 --> 00:07:57,337
as far as smells,
152
00:07:57,462 --> 00:07:59,671
apparently your body
only is in shock -
153
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,296
and sometimes it is shock -
154
00:08:01,421 --> 00:08:04,212
for about the first 7 to 12 seconds or
something,
155
00:08:04,337 --> 00:08:06,379
and after that you get
used to it very quickly.
156
00:08:06,504 --> 00:08:08,421
That's why a man can read
157
00:08:08,546 --> 00:08:11,212
a newspaper or magazine
from front to back,
158
00:08:11,296 --> 00:08:14,587
you know, in the toilet, in his own
smell, and not notice it.
159
00:08:14,712 --> 00:08:16,462
Mind you,
the next person that walks in
160
00:08:16,587 --> 00:08:18,254
will think they've been smacked in the
head
161
00:08:18,379 --> 00:08:19,296
with a poo bat.
162
00:08:19,421 --> 00:08:21,504
But, uh, I don't know,
you know...
163
00:08:21,629 --> 00:08:24,962
If a woman walks in after you,
kill 'em. Knock 'em in half.
164
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:26,587
I've always understood
that people...
165
00:08:26,712 --> 00:08:28,796
I know everyone does get
embarrassed by taking a crap.
166
00:08:28,921 --> 00:08:31,587
You wouldn't wanna be doing it
in the middle of Bourke Street,
167
00:08:31,671 --> 00:08:33,254
butt-naked,
trying to poo into a cup.
168
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:36,296
I mean, even dogs...
if you watch a dog crap,
169
00:08:36,421 --> 00:08:37,921
even a dog's embarrassed
to do poos.
170
00:08:38,046 --> 00:08:39,462
You know when
they're doing a poo,
171
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:42,004
they're all bent over like they're
trying to root a cricket ball,
172
00:08:42,129 --> 00:08:43,546
but even they... even they
get embarrassed.
173
00:08:43,671 --> 00:08:45,712
And that's a dog.
And they'll eat it!
174
00:08:54,546 --> 00:08:58,212
This is, uh... What am I
down to? Four strings.
175
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:00,837
I was given this guitar
by a mate of mine.
176
00:09:00,962 --> 00:09:02,629
He used to play a bit of music.
177
00:09:02,754 --> 00:09:05,587
And he had a bit of an accident.
178
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,754
And, uh... his job,
he was working,
179
00:09:07,879 --> 00:09:09,629
got his hand crushed
in a machine.
180
00:09:09,754 --> 00:09:11,837
He couldn't play
the guitar anymore, so...
181
00:09:11,962 --> 00:09:13,379
...he gave me this.
182
00:09:13,504 --> 00:09:15,629
And I always swore
I'd learn to play the guitar
183
00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:18,046
but I haven't really learnt.
184
00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:21,171
The only thing I've learnt is that
if I hit the strings really hard,
185
00:09:21,296 --> 00:09:22,754
they break.
186
00:09:31,712 --> 00:09:35,754
I think it takes a certain
kind of person to do what I do
187
00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:37,962
and it's just about having
a thick skin.
188
00:09:38,087 --> 00:09:40,087
No-one's ever impressed
with what you do.
189
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:41,629
No-one's ever fascinated
190
00:09:41,754 --> 00:09:44,171
or no-one ever wants to come
and see what you do, or...
191
00:09:44,296 --> 00:09:45,837
I imagine, if you were a fireman,
192
00:09:45,962 --> 00:09:48,629
all the kids would want to jump
on the back of the truck
193
00:09:48,712 --> 00:09:50,129
and follow you to a fire.
194
00:09:50,254 --> 00:09:52,046
There's gonna be no kids
keen to do that.
195
00:09:52,171 --> 00:09:55,004
I don't do it for the glory.
I don't do it to impress people.
196
00:09:55,129 --> 00:09:57,879
It's a job. But, you know,
it's... it's what I know.
197
00:09:58,004 --> 00:09:59,587
It's my trade.
198
00:09:59,712 --> 00:10:01,504
And I actually think
I'm pretty good at it.
199
00:10:01,629 --> 00:10:03,171
That's not bad stuff, that.
200
00:10:05,462 --> 00:10:09,254
As you can see, I've got
a few different aftershaves,
201
00:10:09,379 --> 00:10:11,962
which obviously,
in my line of work,
202
00:10:12,087 --> 00:10:15,046
doesn't hurt to have
a few of those on hand.
203
00:10:15,171 --> 00:10:16,629
A bit of an arsenal.
204
00:10:34,462 --> 00:10:37,754
These are, uh... a mate of mine,
205
00:10:37,879 --> 00:10:41,087
he's over in Japan
at the moment.
206
00:10:41,212 --> 00:10:42,629
You should have a look at these.
207
00:10:42,754 --> 00:10:45,462
These are pictures...
they're pictures of a toilet.
208
00:10:45,587 --> 00:10:47,671
They must stand over it.
209
00:10:47,796 --> 00:10:49,546
God knows
how they keep that clean.
210
00:10:49,671 --> 00:10:52,337
Over here, you sit right on
the pan and they still miss it.
211
00:10:52,421 --> 00:10:53,837
How would you be...?
212
00:10:53,962 --> 00:10:55,379
There's Robbo's feet there. See?
213
00:10:55,504 --> 00:10:58,212
Look at this thing here. It's out of 'star
Wars' or something.
214
00:10:58,337 --> 00:10:59,754
This is the toilet here.
215
00:10:59,879 --> 00:11:01,296
And see the armrest?
216
00:11:01,421 --> 00:11:03,837
That's the control panel for it.
217
00:11:03,962 --> 00:11:06,087
He hasn't explained
what they all are.
218
00:11:06,212 --> 00:11:08,587
But it's got
two different settings
219
00:11:08,712 --> 00:11:11,754
for a waterjet
to shoot up your date -
220
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,546
must be to wash it or something.
221
00:11:13,671 --> 00:11:16,629
This must be the heater,
or God knows what that is.
222
00:11:16,754 --> 00:11:18,254
And, jeez, look at this.
223
00:11:18,379 --> 00:11:19,796
This has got a speed dial.
224
00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,337
And I don't know what that is,
225
00:11:21,462 --> 00:11:24,629
whether it's a television
or it takes an X-ray of your...
226
00:11:24,754 --> 00:11:27,129
You know, I tell you what,
this'll be the future.
227
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:30,212
We'll all be sitting
on space-age shitters.
228
00:11:30,337 --> 00:11:32,671
Not one single photo
of his holiday trip.
229
00:11:32,796 --> 00:11:34,629
I wouldn't have a clue
where he's been,
230
00:11:34,754 --> 00:11:36,462
but I know he's had two craps.
231
00:11:58,962 --> 00:12:00,712
MAN: What's the go
with putting the toilets
232
00:12:00,837 --> 00:12:02,254
outside of the venue?
233
00:12:02,379 --> 00:12:04,587
Well, that was where we were
told to put it originally.
234
00:12:04,712 --> 00:12:06,129
Not on the drawing.
235
00:12:06,254 --> 00:12:08,129
Well... even though
it's on the outside of the fence,
236
00:12:08,254 --> 00:12:09,671
the fence has been moved
237
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,587
from where I was told
it was gonna be.
238
00:12:11,712 --> 00:12:12,879
I can't move it now.
239
00:12:13,004 --> 00:12:15,004
You'd have to be
Andre the Giant to lift it up.
240
00:12:15,129 --> 00:12:16,712
It's a couple of tonne a unit.
241
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,546
Well, can we get it sorted
by the end of today, or...?
242
00:12:19,671 --> 00:12:21,379
Well, to do it,
I'll have to unplumb it,
243
00:12:21,504 --> 00:12:22,921
turn the water off, get a crane.
244
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:24,462
I mean, I can have a go.
245
00:12:24,587 --> 00:12:26,337
You want me to ring the boss?
- Yes.
246
00:12:26,462 --> 00:12:28,462
Alright, I'll ring Glenn
and I'll come and see you.
247
00:12:28,587 --> 00:12:30,171
Are you at the manager's hut?
Yep.
248
00:12:30,296 --> 00:12:32,837
Or I'm on a two-way.
Just please get hold of me.
249
00:12:32,962 --> 00:12:34,587
Alright. Done.
Thank you.
250
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,087
Jeez, this'll be great.
He wants us to move the toilet.
251
00:12:37,212 --> 00:12:40,129
Well, they reckon we've put
the toilet in the wrong spot.
252
00:12:41,546 --> 00:12:43,212
Well, I didn't drop it off -
Tom did.
253
00:12:43,337 --> 00:12:45,046
But it's just outside
the front fence,
254
00:12:45,171 --> 00:12:47,587
which is where I thought
it was supposed to go.
255
00:12:47,712 --> 00:12:49,962
MAN ON P. A:
The F-111 lands...
256
00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:56,337
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
257
00:12:56,462 --> 00:12:58,337
This could be
a little bit colourful.
258
00:12:58,462 --> 00:13:00,962
That's from me... me ex-wife.
259
00:13:01,087 --> 00:13:03,379
We're separated.
260
00:13:03,504 --> 00:13:07,504
Apparently, me little boy's
putting on a bit of a show.
261
00:13:09,671 --> 00:13:11,671
I have to give her a ring.
I won't be...
262
00:13:11,796 --> 00:13:13,254
Yeah. Don't yell in the phone.
263
00:13:13,379 --> 00:13:16,504
What... what...
what has he called you?
264
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,712
Oh, jeez. Well, do you want to
put him on the phone to me?
265
00:13:19,837 --> 00:13:21,504
Yeah, well, oh,
it's a bit different.
266
00:13:21,629 --> 00:13:24,379
I'm a grown-up, mate.
You're still a boy.
267
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:27,171
Yeah, well, you're gonna have to pull
your head in a bit.
268
00:13:27,296 --> 00:13:30,712
You can't be carrying on
like a bloody raw prawn.
269
00:13:30,837 --> 00:13:32,421
Alright.
270
00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:35,796
Yeah, well, maybe just
steady on a bit, eh?
271
00:13:35,921 --> 00:13:37,671
Just try and pull it up a bit.
272
00:13:37,796 --> 00:13:40,087
No, I understand that, but she's still
your mother, mate.
273
00:13:40,212 --> 00:13:41,837
It doesn't matter what I say.
274
00:13:41,962 --> 00:13:45,379
Yeah, I know I said that, but
we were a bit heated that day.
275
00:13:45,504 --> 00:13:47,796
There's no need to be repeating that.
276
00:13:47,921 --> 00:13:50,421
Alright, well, just try
and settle down a bit.
277
00:13:54,671 --> 00:13:56,879
No, mate, the first time
I ever saw
278
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,921
Glenn shove his hand
down a bowl,
279
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,421
and that's the owner
of this company,
280
00:14:01,546 --> 00:14:03,004
turned up in a suit, mate,
281
00:14:03,129 --> 00:14:04,879
he ripped his shirt off,
282
00:14:05,004 --> 00:14:06,754
straight into the shit.
283
00:14:08,921 --> 00:14:10,462
And I got there, and I said,
284
00:14:10,587 --> 00:14:12,171
"There's fuckin' a man
after my own heart
285
00:14:12,296 --> 00:14:13,712
"that'll do anything."
286
00:14:13,837 --> 00:14:15,254
His arm's into it.
287
00:14:15,379 --> 00:14:16,921
It's nice to have
a boss that knows
288
00:14:17,046 --> 00:14:18,171
what we're going
through at last.
289
00:14:18,296 --> 00:14:21,296
Do you know, I sometimes feel
a bit lucky that I've got this job.
290
00:14:21,421 --> 00:14:22,921
In this job, I must admit,
291
00:14:23,046 --> 00:14:25,421
I've had a chance to see
some great stuff.
292
00:14:25,546 --> 00:14:27,379
And I work with
a good bunch of blokes.
293
00:14:27,504 --> 00:14:31,171
And, you know, that's more than
anyone can ask for.
294
00:14:31,296 --> 00:14:34,462
I tell you what, Robbo, do you mind if I
lob here tonight?
295
00:14:34,587 --> 00:14:37,421
I'll have a few more beers.
I don't give a shit at all, mate.
296
00:14:37,546 --> 00:14:39,087
Eh, you can even
stay in that bed,
297
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,754
and I'll make a bed
up for myself...
298
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:43,671
No, no. I'm not gonna stay in your bed,
Robbo. It's your joint.
299
00:14:43,796 --> 00:14:45,671
Ah, well, there's
no problems, brother.
300
00:14:45,796 --> 00:14:48,171
There's a lounge there.
There's a bed there.
301
00:14:48,296 --> 00:14:50,712
Hey, no worries.
You've got the whole lot.
302
00:15:01,587 --> 00:15:03,004
You know, the funny part is
303
00:15:03,129 --> 00:15:05,379
everyone will deny the fact
that they look at their poo,
304
00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:06,921
but everyone does.
305
00:15:07,046 --> 00:15:08,629
The ancient Greeks...
306
00:15:08,754 --> 00:15:10,421
Cop this one.
307
00:15:10,546 --> 00:15:14,212
The ancient Greeks,
they used to use poo, back in...
308
00:15:14,337 --> 00:15:18,004
I mean, talking 2,000 years ago,
when Christ was alive.
309
00:15:18,129 --> 00:15:20,337
They used to look at their poo,
or people's poo
310
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:22,712
to forecast the future.
311
00:15:22,837 --> 00:15:25,046
Mind you, if they'd seen
some of the poo I've seen
312
00:15:25,171 --> 00:15:27,129
at some of the festivals,
the future looks pretty bleak.
313
00:15:27,254 --> 00:15:29,212
But they used to use it
to forecast the future,
314
00:15:29,337 --> 00:15:30,796
back 2,000 years ago.
315
00:15:33,837 --> 00:15:35,879
Hey, Darren, have you got power to
those toilets
316
00:15:36,004 --> 00:15:36,921
across there yet?
317
00:15:37,046 --> 00:15:38,921
This is the busiest time of year.
318
00:15:39,046 --> 00:15:40,462
This is the crazy time.
319
00:15:40,587 --> 00:15:42,129
Obviously,
when the sun comes out,
320
00:15:42,254 --> 00:15:43,671
every bastard has a festival,
321
00:15:43,796 --> 00:15:46,629
and we get flogged
like crooked dogs in a...
322
00:15:46,754 --> 00:15:48,171
It's a mongrel.
323
00:15:48,296 --> 00:15:51,546
It just goes bonkers. It's as silly
as a bum full of Smarties.
324
00:15:53,962 --> 00:15:57,796
I often sing
'Advance Australia Fair'.
325
00:15:57,921 --> 00:16:01,879
There's nothing wrong with
having a bit of national pride.
326
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,421
Problem is,
when I first heard it,
327
00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:07,546
I used to think the song was,
the words were,
328
00:16:07,671 --> 00:16:09,879
"Australians all
let us ring Joyce,
329
00:16:10,004 --> 00:16:12,212
"'cause she is young
and free."
330
00:16:12,337 --> 00:16:15,587
So, obviously, I was making
a goose of myself,
331
00:16:15,712 --> 00:16:19,962
right up until the old man
set me straight on the words.
332
00:16:20,087 --> 00:16:21,837
I sing it right now.
333
00:16:21,962 --> 00:16:26,296
"Australians all
let us ring Joyce."
334
00:16:26,421 --> 00:16:28,337
God.
335
00:16:32,421 --> 00:16:35,712
You know, I get to see
some great stuff doing this job.
336
00:16:35,837 --> 00:16:37,254
And it's never boring.
337
00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:39,712
But, I mean, you know,
I hear of people all the time
338
00:16:39,837 --> 00:16:40,754
and you read about it -
339
00:16:40,879 --> 00:16:42,296
people sitting behind
their desk at work
340
00:16:42,421 --> 00:16:44,671
terrified that the next day
they're gonna be out of work.
341
00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,587
Well, that's not something
I've ever gotta worry about.
342
00:16:46,712 --> 00:16:48,129
You know, it's not like
my business
343
00:16:48,254 --> 00:16:49,879
is gonna dry up
overnight, is it?
344
00:16:50,004 --> 00:16:51,421
How you been? Well?
Excellent.
345
00:16:51,546 --> 00:16:52,962
I haven't seen you forever.
346
00:16:53,087 --> 00:16:54,671
I'll catch up with you there.
OK.
347
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,254
See you, mate.
See you.
348
00:16:57,379 --> 00:16:58,796
That's a mate from school.
349
00:16:58,921 --> 00:17:00,462
That's a guy
I went to school with.
350
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:01,962
That's Macka.
351
00:17:03,171 --> 00:17:04,921
I must admit, I thought
you'd got a bit taller
352
00:17:05,046 --> 00:17:05,962
since I'd seen you,
353
00:17:06,087 --> 00:17:07,504
but you've got
these bloody boots on.
354
00:17:07,629 --> 00:17:09,421
They're different from the footy
boots you strapped on
355
00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:11,337
when we were at school, mate.
356
00:17:17,379 --> 00:17:19,337
There's not too much I regret
about doing this job.
357
00:17:19,462 --> 00:17:20,879
I think I've worked
a lot of hours,
358
00:17:21,004 --> 00:17:22,629
and it's probably aged me a bit.
359
00:17:22,754 --> 00:17:25,837
You know, some of my mates
reckon I'm looking a bit worn.
360
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,379
Well, I lost my missus.
361
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:29,046
I lost her out of it.
362
00:17:29,171 --> 00:17:31,671
That was... Well, I didn't
lose her. I know where she is.
363
00:17:31,796 --> 00:17:33,212
She just left me, but, uh...
364
00:17:33,337 --> 00:17:36,921
...it bit me on the arse pretty hard when
she was leaving me.
365
00:17:37,046 --> 00:17:39,921
You know, it was one tax I
didn't expect to pay in this job,
366
00:17:40,046 --> 00:17:41,462
and that was losing me missus.
367
00:17:41,587 --> 00:17:43,879
But when you spend more time
with other people's poo
368
00:17:44,004 --> 00:17:46,379
than you do your own wife,
you've gotta pay the penalty.
369
00:17:46,504 --> 00:17:50,754
MAN: Do you know that
70% of marriages fail? 70%.
370
00:17:50,879 --> 00:17:53,254
I mean, you hear of so many stories of
that whole...
371
00:17:53,379 --> 00:17:54,379
...that same scenario.
372
00:17:54,504 --> 00:17:56,004
You know, you get married
373
00:17:56,129 --> 00:17:58,087
and a week later
they break up or something
374
00:17:58,212 --> 00:17:59,629
or, you know, it doesn't work.
375
00:17:59,754 --> 00:18:01,337
Or, you know, sex doesn't
happen or something.
376
00:18:01,462 --> 00:18:03,587
Or, you know,
she goes off you or something.
377
00:18:03,712 --> 00:18:05,712
Or, you know, the parents
are around every day
378
00:18:05,837 --> 00:18:06,754
or something.
379
00:18:06,879 --> 00:18:09,671
Or you can't support them,
give them what they want,
380
00:18:09,796 --> 00:18:11,296
because they came from,
you know,
381
00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:13,171
a wealthier background
or something than you,
382
00:18:13,296 --> 00:18:15,546
and you're wishing
that you could, you know,
383
00:18:15,671 --> 00:18:17,921
support it more than that,
but you can't,
384
00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:19,587
because you just... you can't.
385
00:18:19,712 --> 00:18:21,546
I always get a little bit nervous
386
00:18:21,671 --> 00:18:24,212
when Pat comes in
for one of his little chats.
387
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:28,171
Sadly, Pat's chosen to learn
from my life's mistakes
388
00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:29,712
instead of learning
from his own.
389
00:18:29,837 --> 00:18:32,129
- So... you still loved her
in the end?
390
00:18:32,254 --> 00:18:33,712
- Or did you...?
391
00:18:33,837 --> 00:18:36,671
Oh, it was a little bit hard to
love someone that hates you.
392
00:18:36,796 --> 00:18:37,712
Yeah.
393
00:18:37,837 --> 00:18:38,754
Don't worry too much.
394
00:18:38,879 --> 00:18:40,504
If you worry too much,
you'll drive yourself mad.
395
00:18:40,629 --> 00:18:42,171
By the time you cut
the wedding cake,
396
00:18:42,296 --> 00:18:44,254
you'll cut the table in half,
you'll be that nervous.
397
00:18:44,379 --> 00:18:48,212
A wedding is an "I do" kind of day.
That's all your pressure is.
398
00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:49,754
Remember that - "I do."
399
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,254
Do you want to marry this woman till
the rest of your life?
400
00:18:52,379 --> 00:18:53,296
"I do."
401
00:18:53,421 --> 00:18:55,004
Are you ready to go to the park?
402
00:18:55,129 --> 00:18:57,087
Do you want to have
photos taken next to her
403
00:18:57,212 --> 00:18:58,171
now that you've married her?
404
00:18:58,296 --> 00:18:59,212
"I do."
405
00:18:59,337 --> 00:19:00,754
Do you want to go
on the honeymoon
406
00:19:00,879 --> 00:19:02,296
and do the horizontal
folk dance?
407
00:19:02,421 --> 00:19:03,671
"Yes, love, I do."
408
00:19:03,796 --> 00:19:05,587
Just, all you've gotta
remember is "I do".
409
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:08,587
There's no pressure, you know?
410
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:11,879
If you think of it like that,
then it's not that big a deal...
411
00:19:12,004 --> 00:19:14,004
...unless a bloke comes down
in the wedding dress,
412
00:19:14,129 --> 00:19:15,671
then you'll know
your day's gone to shit.
413
00:19:15,796 --> 00:19:17,671
But that's not gonna
happen, is it?
414
00:19:19,337 --> 00:19:21,879
I don't know whether
I'm necessarily the right person
415
00:19:22,004 --> 00:19:24,712
to be asking about all this,
to tell you the truth, Pat.
416
00:19:24,837 --> 00:19:27,712
Mine failed.
I don't... you know
417
00:19:27,837 --> 00:19:29,421
I once heard a guy say,
418
00:19:29,546 --> 00:19:30,962
"Cut out the middle man -
419
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,087
"find someone you hate
and give them a house."
420
00:19:33,212 --> 00:19:35,004
Now, if you want to
be negative about it,
421
00:19:35,129 --> 00:19:36,546
that's the way you'd look at it.
422
00:19:36,671 --> 00:19:38,504
You've been there.
I haven't been there yet.
423
00:19:38,629 --> 00:19:40,046
You've been through that.
424
00:19:40,171 --> 00:19:43,129
I mean, I'm asking you
because you...
425
00:19:43,254 --> 00:19:45,712
...you were there for 14 years.
426
00:19:45,837 --> 00:19:48,504
But that's...
that was my missus.
427
00:19:48,629 --> 00:19:50,296
You're gonna marry
someone different.
428
00:19:50,421 --> 00:19:51,337
And that's...
429
00:19:51,462 --> 00:19:52,879
If you were gonna
marry my ex-wife,
430
00:19:53,004 --> 00:19:54,962
I'd have a ton of stuff
to tell you.
431
00:19:55,087 --> 00:19:58,671
Is this the right person?
Is this the right time?
432
00:19:58,796 --> 00:20:00,337
Is this the right...?
433
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,837
Hello.
WOMAN: Yeah, come in.
434
00:20:07,962 --> 00:20:09,504
Yeah, it's only me.
435
00:20:09,629 --> 00:20:11,921
How are you?
- Yeah, OK.
436
00:20:12,046 --> 00:20:14,462
It's a fair old day outside,
isn't it?
437
00:20:14,587 --> 00:20:16,504
There's the boy.
How are you, boy? You right?
438
00:20:16,629 --> 00:20:18,254
You right to go?
439
00:20:18,379 --> 00:20:20,754
All good. You've got some
stuff packed and a towel?
440
00:20:20,879 --> 00:20:22,337
Alright.
441
00:20:22,462 --> 00:20:24,337
Well, we'll get going, eh?
We'll hit the road.
442
00:20:24,462 --> 00:20:25,879
What do you say, mate?
443
00:20:26,004 --> 00:20:28,337
We'll be back,
well, I don't know what time.
444
00:20:28,462 --> 00:20:30,629
We're just gonna head off
down the beach now.
445
00:20:30,754 --> 00:20:32,587
So...
- I need him back by 4:00.
446
00:20:32,712 --> 00:20:34,504
I'm sorry?
- I need him back by 4:00.
447
00:20:34,629 --> 00:20:36,046
What? Well, it's midday now.
448
00:20:36,171 --> 00:20:38,171
How am I gonna have him back
by four o'clock?
449
00:20:38,296 --> 00:20:40,254
I've got plans.
I need him back by 4:00.
450
00:20:40,379 --> 00:20:42,337
Look, you want to
jump in the car, mate?
451
00:20:42,462 --> 00:20:44,254
Grab your toy there.
Jump in the car.
452
00:20:44,379 --> 00:20:45,296
I'll be one sec.
453
00:20:45,421 --> 00:20:47,379
I'm just gonna have
a little chat to your mother.
454
00:20:47,504 --> 00:20:49,337
It would've been nice
to have known this
455
00:20:49,462 --> 00:20:51,129
at 8:Co this morning
when I rang.
456
00:20:51,254 --> 00:20:52,837
We're going down to Ocean Grove.
457
00:20:52,962 --> 00:20:55,171
It'll take me an hour and a half
to get there.
458
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,504
I don't give a shit.
I need him back at 4:00.
459
00:20:57,629 --> 00:20:59,629
We're just taking him down
to see his grandfather.
460
00:20:59,754 --> 00:21:01,212
If I've got him back by 4:00,
461
00:21:01,337 --> 00:21:02,587
we'll only spend
30 minutes there.
462
00:21:02,712 --> 00:21:04,296
It would've been nice
to have known this
463
00:21:04,421 --> 00:21:05,337
this morning, though.
464
00:21:05,462 --> 00:21:07,921
I'm taking the boy
down to see his grandfather,
465
00:21:08,046 --> 00:21:10,796
not that you seem to be
too plussed about that.
466
00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:12,337
Alright.
467
00:21:12,462 --> 00:21:14,087
Jesus Christ.
468
00:21:16,587 --> 00:21:18,379
Hey, do you want to
jump in the front
469
00:21:18,504 --> 00:21:19,837
with your old man, mate?
470
00:21:19,962 --> 00:21:21,754
You don't want to
jump up the front there?
471
00:21:21,879 --> 00:21:24,379
We've got the front seat.
You can sit up with me and...
472
00:21:24,504 --> 00:21:25,921
Alright. Well, please yourself.
473
00:21:26,046 --> 00:21:27,796
You're right
in the back there, then?
474
00:21:30,379 --> 00:21:32,254
Alright.
475
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:38,587
How you been, mate?
You been good?
476
00:21:38,712 --> 00:21:42,087
Hey? Well, er, we'll get you
down to your grandad's.
477
00:21:42,212 --> 00:21:45,004
We're just gonna go down to
Ocean Grove, to the beach.
478
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:47,337
You like it down at the beach,
don't you, mate?
479
00:21:47,462 --> 00:21:48,879
What do you say, eh?
480
00:21:49,004 --> 00:21:51,379
Dad, are you going to hell?
481
00:21:51,504 --> 00:21:53,921
Am I going to hell?
482
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:57,212
Well, no, I'm not going to hell.
Not as far as I know.
483
00:21:57,337 --> 00:21:58,754
Why's that?
484
00:21:58,879 --> 00:22:01,921
Because Mum said... Mum said you
don't believe in God.
485
00:22:02,046 --> 00:22:04,421
Mum said I don't believe in God?
486
00:22:04,546 --> 00:22:07,254
And that's why
I'm going to hell?
487
00:22:07,379 --> 00:22:10,462
Well, mate, er...
Look, I tell you what.
488
00:22:10,587 --> 00:22:12,962
When God introduces
himself to me,
489
00:22:13,087 --> 00:22:15,462
I'll give him my full attention.
490
00:22:15,587 --> 00:22:18,546
I'll give him 150%, mate.
491
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,796
But until then,
I'm just a little bit busy.
492
00:22:21,921 --> 00:22:24,254
Jesus, and I'm going to hell,
she reckons.
493
00:22:24,379 --> 00:22:26,504
(Sighs)
494
00:22:26,629 --> 00:22:29,296
To be quite honest,
I think I'm already in it.
495
00:22:29,421 --> 00:22:30,962
(Mutters) Am I going to hell!
496
00:22:31,087 --> 00:22:33,754
(Giggles)
(Sings) ♪ Australians all
497
00:22:33,879 --> 00:22:36,254
♪ Let us ring Joyce
498
00:22:36,379 --> 00:22:40,337
(Both sing) ♪ For she
is young and free
499
00:22:40,462 --> 00:22:41,879
♪ She's free... ♪
500
00:22:42,004 --> 00:22:43,421
(Boy giggles)
501
00:22:43,546 --> 00:22:45,962
You know, if my son
ended up doing this job,
502
00:22:46,087 --> 00:22:48,587
I don't think
I'd be that upset by that.
503
00:22:48,712 --> 00:22:50,129
If he was happy,
504
00:22:50,254 --> 00:22:51,796
and he had good people around him
505
00:22:51,921 --> 00:22:53,462
like I've got good people around me,
506
00:22:53,587 --> 00:22:55,004
and he's making OK money
507
00:22:55,129 --> 00:22:57,421
and he's proud of
what he does as a trade -
508
00:22:57,546 --> 00:22:59,212
'cause, don't forget,
it is a trade...
509
00:22:59,337 --> 00:23:00,254
Hello?
510
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,879
...I'd be stoked for him.
511
00:23:02,004 --> 00:23:03,796
You there, Dad?
Hey, mate, how are you going?
512
00:23:03,921 --> 00:23:05,462
Oh, you made it, I see.
513
00:23:05,587 --> 00:23:07,587
I did. Good to see you again.
514
00:23:07,712 --> 00:23:09,587
Say hello to
your grandfather, son.
515
00:23:09,712 --> 00:23:11,587
You better... Wait on, boy.
Take your shoes off.
516
00:23:11,712 --> 00:23:13,212
You might have to pop them off.
517
00:23:13,337 --> 00:23:16,296
You'd better get yours off too.
- Alright. We'll pop them off.
518
00:23:19,421 --> 00:23:20,337
Right.
519
00:23:20,462 --> 00:23:22,462
Have you been well?
Oh, yeah. Listen...
520
00:23:22,587 --> 00:23:24,462
Eh, eh, just before...
No, wait on.
521
00:23:24,587 --> 00:23:26,212
I've just had that scotchguarded there.
522
00:23:26,337 --> 00:23:28,754
You'd better get these off.
You'd better get these off.
523
00:23:28,879 --> 00:23:30,921
Well, they're clean.
I mean, I haven't been...
524
00:23:31,046 --> 00:23:33,129
I've only dropped
into the office this morning.
525
00:23:33,254 --> 00:23:34,671
There's no business on them.
526
00:23:34,796 --> 00:23:36,212
I'm actually going to
a job tonight.
527
00:23:36,337 --> 00:23:38,171
Well, they don't look
too flash to me.
528
00:23:38,296 --> 00:23:39,837
Get them off. I'll get you...
529
00:23:39,962 --> 00:23:41,754
I've got something
you can wear. Here, I've got...
530
00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:43,337
Get them off, would you?
531
00:23:43,462 --> 00:23:45,462
Well, I can't run around
in me jocks, Dad.
532
00:23:45,587 --> 00:23:46,504
No, well, I've got something.
533
00:23:46,629 --> 00:23:48,421
I've got a gown here
you can put on.
534
00:23:48,546 --> 00:23:49,962
No-one's gonna see you.
535
00:23:50,087 --> 00:23:52,504
For Christ's sake.
Just take them off.
536
00:23:52,629 --> 00:23:54,254
Jesus Christ.
537
00:23:55,379 --> 00:23:56,879
Well, what am I gonna wear?
538
00:23:57,004 --> 00:23:59,921
I've got a gown here.
I've got a gown, I said.
539
00:24:01,212 --> 00:24:03,462
So what else is news, Dad?
What have you been doing?
540
00:24:03,587 --> 00:24:06,671
Oh, not a lot. There's not
a lot to do down here.
541
00:24:06,796 --> 00:24:10,712
It goes past with
monotonous regularity.
542
00:24:10,837 --> 00:24:13,796
Just don't take your foot off the thing.
Just let me move that up.
543
00:24:13,921 --> 00:24:14,837
Sure.
544
00:24:14,962 --> 00:24:16,712
I'll get a couple of coasters there for...
545
00:24:16,837 --> 00:24:19,171
Won't be a tick.
- Alright.
546
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:26,754
There you go, young fella.
Don't... Try not to spill that.
547
00:24:26,879 --> 00:24:28,379
Just keep...
keep your eye on him.
548
00:24:28,504 --> 00:24:29,921
He'll be right, Dad.
549
00:24:30,046 --> 00:24:31,879
There you go, son.
There's your water for you.
550
00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:34,379
I'll give you a tea.
I'm a bit light on for coffee.
551
00:24:34,504 --> 00:24:38,254
My pension doesn't come through till
next week.
552
00:24:38,379 --> 00:24:42,796
Did you ring that bloke that
I told you to ring about the job?
553
00:24:42,921 --> 00:24:44,671
No, I didn't...
No, I haven't rung him.
554
00:24:44,796 --> 00:24:46,254
Why not?
555
00:24:46,379 --> 00:24:48,796
He's a good mate of mine.
Why didn't you ring him?
556
00:24:48,921 --> 00:24:51,129
I'm not saying he's not
a good mate of yours, Dad.
557
00:24:51,254 --> 00:24:53,796
It's just I don't need
to ring him. I've got a job.
558
00:24:53,921 --> 00:24:55,879
Yeah, but I'm talking
about a real job.
559
00:24:56,004 --> 00:24:57,462
I'm talking about a real job.
560
00:24:57,587 --> 00:24:59,379
I've got a real job, Dad.
I'm a plumber.
561
00:24:59,504 --> 00:25:02,671
Yeah, plumber, my arse.
I know what you are.
562
00:25:04,337 --> 00:25:05,921
Here, young fella.
563
00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:07,504
You better go outside
and eat that.
564
00:25:07,629 --> 00:25:09,962
I don't want you dropping crumbs all
over the floor.
565
00:25:10,087 --> 00:25:11,504
Sit on... outside.
566
00:25:11,629 --> 00:25:12,712
Take your hat, mate, so...
567
00:25:12,837 --> 00:25:14,837
You might get
a bit of sun out there.
568
00:25:14,962 --> 00:25:16,587
Pop your hat on too, eh?
569
00:25:17,879 --> 00:25:21,212
I'm a little... a little
disappointed in you, son.
570
00:25:21,337 --> 00:25:24,046
In me? Disappointed...
disappointed with what?
571
00:25:24,171 --> 00:25:25,879
It's a full-time job, Dad.
572
00:25:26,004 --> 00:25:28,462
I'm working
six to seven days a week
573
00:25:28,587 --> 00:25:30,421
and I'm pulling in over $1,200.
574
00:25:30,546 --> 00:25:32,379
Yeah, what, a full-time job?
575
00:25:32,504 --> 00:25:33,962
I didn't put you through school
576
00:25:34,087 --> 00:25:36,754
for you to become
a fuckin' glorified turd burglar,
577
00:25:36,837 --> 00:25:38,629
and that's all you
fuckin' well are!
578
00:25:38,754 --> 00:25:40,296
I'm a plumber, Dad.
I'm a plumber.
579
00:25:40,421 --> 00:25:41,962
Oh, plumber, my arse!
580
00:25:42,087 --> 00:25:44,754
Don't say this stuff
in front of the boy.
581
00:25:44,837 --> 00:25:47,629
I won't say it in front of him.
That's why I sent him outside.
582
00:25:47,754 --> 00:25:49,171
I'm not a ding-a-ling.
583
00:25:49,296 --> 00:25:51,504
You never see a man,
you never come to see me
584
00:25:51,629 --> 00:25:53,837
and when you come here,
all you wanna do is argue.
585
00:25:53,962 --> 00:25:55,754
I don't wanna argue.
I've just got a job.
586
00:25:55,879 --> 00:25:58,296
As soon as you can accept
that I've got a full-time job...
587
00:25:58,421 --> 00:25:59,962
I thought you'd be glad
to see me.
588
00:26:00,087 --> 00:26:01,587
I am glad to see you, Dad.
589
00:26:01,712 --> 00:26:04,379
I've just driven down here to...
Of course I'm glad to see you.
590
00:26:04,504 --> 00:26:06,046
And the lad's growing up.
591
00:26:06,171 --> 00:26:08,379
The last time I saw him,
he was about this high,
592
00:26:08,504 --> 00:26:10,712
and have a look at him now -
he's nearly fuckin' 6ft.
593
00:26:10,837 --> 00:26:12,296
You don't bring him
near the place.
594
00:26:12,421 --> 00:26:14,171
What, are you ashamed of me
or something?
595
00:26:14,296 --> 00:26:15,837
Of course I'm not
ashamed of you, Dad.
596
00:26:15,962 --> 00:26:17,879
Aw, it gives me the shits,
it does, boy.
597
00:26:18,004 --> 00:26:21,004
You've never appreciated
anything I've done for you.
598
00:26:21,129 --> 00:26:23,212
Oh, it's not about
appreciation, Dad.
599
00:26:23,337 --> 00:26:25,337
I'll just wash this cup.
600
00:26:27,421 --> 00:26:29,421
Pop your shoes on, mate.
601
00:26:30,546 --> 00:26:32,046
Here, young fella. Here.
602
00:26:32,171 --> 00:26:35,171
Put that in your kick and
be good to your dad, alright?
603
00:26:35,296 --> 00:26:36,712
Here, give us a cuddle.
604
00:26:36,837 --> 00:26:38,587
Thank Grandad for
the 20 cents. Say thank you...
605
00:26:38,712 --> 00:26:40,129
Thank you.
- Alright.
606
00:26:40,254 --> 00:26:42,254
Off you go. I wanna have
a talk to your father.
607
00:26:42,379 --> 00:26:45,046
Keep your eye on the boy and
don't have him running round
608
00:26:45,129 --> 00:26:46,546
like a wild navvy,
for Christ's sake.
609
00:26:46,671 --> 00:26:48,879
I never let you get away
with any of those things.
610
00:26:49,004 --> 00:26:50,962
If you don't rule them
with a rod of iron,
611
00:26:51,087 --> 00:26:52,879
they'll make an arsehole of you
out in public
612
00:26:53,004 --> 00:26:54,504
when you take them out.
613
00:26:54,629 --> 00:26:56,046
He's alright.
Yeah, he's alright.
614
00:26:56,171 --> 00:26:57,629
Well, keep him that way.
615
00:26:57,754 --> 00:26:59,421
Alright, well, I'll see you again.
Alright.
616
00:26:59,546 --> 00:27:01,504
Don't make it so long next time,
for Christ's sake.
617
00:27:01,629 --> 00:27:03,879
A man never sees you.
You never come to visit me.
618
00:27:04,004 --> 00:27:05,837
I'll see you soon.
As soon as I've finished...
619
00:27:05,962 --> 00:27:08,421
And if you get a chance,
ring that bloke about that job.
620
00:27:08,546 --> 00:27:10,879
It won't happen, Dad.
Good to see you.
621
00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:12,546
Alright. See you.
622
00:27:14,462 --> 00:27:16,921
(Mutters indistinctly)
623
00:27:17,046 --> 00:27:18,504
Righto.
624
00:27:24,046 --> 00:27:25,879
One! Two! Three!
625
00:27:26,004 --> 00:27:27,421
Move!
626
00:27:27,546 --> 00:27:29,754
I mean, this is kind of
my outlet, you know?
627
00:27:29,879 --> 00:27:33,046
On the job sometimes, you know, you
get a few smarties -
628
00:27:33,171 --> 00:27:35,421
you know, a couple of
clever dicks on the job
629
00:27:35,546 --> 00:27:37,087
that always wanna have
a go at you.
630
00:27:37,212 --> 00:27:39,046
And, you know,
they're all full of Dutch courage
631
00:27:39,171 --> 00:27:41,587
and got themselves full
of the Batman juice.
632
00:27:41,712 --> 00:27:45,504
So I started doing this
as a little bit of insurance,
633
00:27:45,629 --> 00:27:47,212
a bit of self-insurance.
634
00:27:47,337 --> 00:27:48,254
(BELL RINGS)
635
00:27:48,379 --> 00:27:50,754
Out! In! Out!
636
00:27:50,879 --> 00:27:52,337
(Speaks unintelligibly)
637
00:27:52,462 --> 00:27:54,004
What's that?
A little bit quicker, mate.
638
00:27:54,129 --> 00:27:56,087
(Speaks unintelligibly)
A little bit quicker!
639
00:27:56,212 --> 00:27:58,212
(Speaks unintelligibly)
640
00:27:58,337 --> 00:28:00,921
The only hard bit sometimes
is, with the head gear on,
641
00:28:01,046 --> 00:28:05,337
plus I'm actually
slightly deaf in one ear -
642
00:28:05,462 --> 00:28:06,879
my right side...
643
00:28:07,004 --> 00:28:08,171
(BELL RINGS)
644
00:28:08,296 --> 00:28:09,712
Hook - right hand!
What?
645
00:28:09,837 --> 00:28:11,879
Hook - right hand!
Right. Sorry.
646
00:28:14,671 --> 00:28:18,421
Takes it out of me, this, but I do
enjoy doing it, the old boxing.
647
00:28:18,546 --> 00:28:21,879
Beat the shit out of each other
and get back to work.
648
00:28:30,504 --> 00:28:32,712
I don't make the rules up.
I don't make the plans.
649
00:28:32,837 --> 00:28:34,337
We get all given the same map.
650
00:28:34,462 --> 00:28:35,879
You've gotta be more conscious
651
00:28:36,004 --> 00:28:37,546
of what other guys
are doing, mate.
652
00:28:38,879 --> 00:28:41,546
You want three units, so we'll need to
get that truck in there.
653
00:28:41,629 --> 00:28:43,296
WOMAN: The toilet over there
is disgusting.
654
00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:45,296
There's piss all over the walls.
655
00:28:45,421 --> 00:28:48,546
It's gross. You really should
try and maintain them.
656
00:28:51,004 --> 00:28:52,796
PAT: You'd think it'd be
a simple thing.
657
00:28:52,921 --> 00:28:55,171
150 bucks a head. $150.
658
00:28:55,296 --> 00:28:57,962
I kind of think what I could do
with $150 for 200 people.
659
00:28:58,087 --> 00:28:59,546
Which way? Over this way?
660
00:29:02,004 --> 00:29:03,837
Hey, hang on, hang on!
661
00:29:03,962 --> 00:29:05,504
Sorry, love!
WOMAN: If you don't mind!
662
00:29:05,629 --> 00:29:07,087
Sorry. I'm actually here with...
663
00:29:07,212 --> 00:29:09,254
I'm here with
the... toilet company.
664
00:29:09,379 --> 00:29:10,296
Sorry, love.
665
00:29:10,421 --> 00:29:11,962
I didn't see anything,
if that makes any difference.
666
00:29:12,087 --> 00:29:13,629
Jesus.
667
00:29:25,212 --> 00:29:27,504
You know, I wouldn't mind...
668
00:29:27,629 --> 00:29:30,296
They could shit on the floor,
I can cope with that.
669
00:29:30,379 --> 00:29:32,754
This is what annoys me
the most - this stuff.
670
00:29:32,879 --> 00:29:34,837
Look, 'Davo waz here'.
671
00:29:34,962 --> 00:29:37,337
Can't spell for a starter.
672
00:29:37,462 --> 00:29:39,546
'Davo waz here'.
673
00:29:39,671 --> 00:29:41,337
What a claim to fame that is.
674
00:29:41,462 --> 00:29:43,754
Imagine if he went to, er...
675
00:29:44,879 --> 00:29:46,671
Imagine if he got
to the Eiffel Tower.
676
00:29:46,796 --> 00:29:48,379
He'd want a golden handshake,
677
00:29:48,504 --> 00:29:51,046
a fuckin' brass band
and a fireworks show.
678
00:29:51,171 --> 00:29:54,379
This is his claim to fame.
He's been to our shitter.
679
00:29:54,504 --> 00:29:56,296
What a fuckin' muppet.
680
00:30:11,546 --> 00:30:13,296
PAT ON TWO-WAY RADIO:
Kenny, are you there?
681
00:30:13,421 --> 00:30:15,004
KENNY ON TWO-WAY RADIO:
Yeah, go ahead, Fat.
682
00:30:15,129 --> 00:30:17,546
Listen, mate.
I need you down at the block.
683
00:30:17,671 --> 00:30:19,879
A bit of a situation here.
We've got... (Voice breaks up)
684
00:30:20,004 --> 00:30:22,212
I can't hear you. You're breaking up.
685
00:30:22,337 --> 00:30:25,004
I need you here
to have a look and:.
686
00:30:25,087 --> 00:30:28,171
I'll be there in a minute.
Just hang on a second.
687
00:30:31,462 --> 00:30:32,879
Jeez.
688
00:30:33,004 --> 00:30:34,421
Just found him here.
689
00:30:34,546 --> 00:30:36,421
See if you can...
690
00:30:36,546 --> 00:30:39,337
...undo that chain.
691
00:30:39,462 --> 00:30:41,546
What the bloody hell's...?
692
00:30:41,671 --> 00:30:43,129
You right, mate?
693
00:30:46,504 --> 00:30:49,004
Can you...? Hey, mate?
You alright?
694
00:30:50,129 --> 00:30:53,046
How are you going? Wake up, tiger.
695
00:30:53,171 --> 00:30:55,254
Hang on, hang on.
696
00:30:55,379 --> 00:30:57,796
(Man yells) Simon!
697
00:30:57,921 --> 00:31:00,379
Don't touch me!
Don't touch me!
698
00:31:00,504 --> 00:31:03,171
KENNY: Jesus. Well, he was passed out
when we got here.
699
00:31:03,254 --> 00:31:06,171
He wasn't even awake so we
had to kind of wake him up.
700
00:31:06,296 --> 00:31:08,129
And as soon as we woke him up,
701
00:31:08,254 --> 00:31:09,754
and he realised
that he was chained
702
00:31:09,879 --> 00:31:11,296
and handcuffed to the toilet,
703
00:31:11,421 --> 00:31:12,921
he just went berserk.
704
00:31:13,046 --> 00:31:13,962
(Yells) Peter!
705
00:31:14,087 --> 00:31:15,879
I don't know. Maybe he's on drugs or
something.
706
00:31:16,004 --> 00:31:17,712
He was jumping round
like a fish.
707
00:31:17,837 --> 00:31:18,754
MAN: You bastards!
708
00:31:18,879 --> 00:31:22,046
No, no, it's... He's on
a bucks night or something.
709
00:31:22,171 --> 00:31:23,796
He's probably got
some mates here somewhere.
710
00:31:23,921 --> 00:31:25,337
They've drawn on him with texta.
711
00:31:25,462 --> 00:31:27,754
FIREMAN: What's your name?
I'm Kenny... Smyth.
712
00:31:27,879 --> 00:31:29,546
S-M-Y-T-H.
713
00:31:29,671 --> 00:31:31,796
(Man yells indistinctly)
714
00:31:31,921 --> 00:31:35,337
Listen, I've got my own car here,
alright? I drove here.
715
00:31:35,462 --> 00:31:36,879
I drove here by myself.
716
00:31:37,004 --> 00:31:38,421
Arggh! Where the fuck...?
717
00:31:38,546 --> 00:31:40,296
Simon!
718
00:31:40,421 --> 00:31:43,421
Sandra's gonna kill me.
719
00:31:43,546 --> 00:31:45,712
Sandra's gonna kill me!
720
00:31:45,837 --> 00:31:47,254
Funny, isn't it?
721
00:31:47,379 --> 00:31:49,337
Of all the people
I could have had with me
722
00:31:49,462 --> 00:31:50,379
while I was witnessing
723
00:31:50,504 --> 00:31:51,629
this guy's bucks night
gone wrong...
724
00:31:51,754 --> 00:31:53,962
MAN: I own my own
fuckin' house!
725
00:31:54,087 --> 00:31:55,587
...I had to have Pat.
726
00:31:55,712 --> 00:31:58,671
I wanna go home.
I wanna go home!
727
00:31:58,796 --> 00:32:01,587
I will hear about this
for the next fortnight.
728
00:32:04,296 --> 00:32:08,171
Have a good night, fellas.
Thanks, fellas.
729
00:32:08,296 --> 00:32:10,337
This is just what you guys needed
tonight, wasn't it?
730
00:32:10,462 --> 00:32:11,921
FIREMAN: Exactly! (Laughs)
731
00:32:12,046 --> 00:32:13,462
You didn't see anything at all?
732
00:32:13,587 --> 00:32:14,796
PAT: No, I walked in
and saw him.
733
00:32:18,754 --> 00:32:20,379
Ugh!
734
00:32:20,504 --> 00:32:22,504
Jeez. Oh!
735
00:32:22,629 --> 00:32:25,587
What's the weather like
down there, Kenny?
736
00:32:25,712 --> 00:32:27,587
Oh, yeah, it's great, Sammy.
It's great.
737
00:32:31,462 --> 00:32:33,587
What's this Pat's bloody story?
- Eh?
738
00:32:33,712 --> 00:32:35,462
Oh, he's giving me
the shits lately.
739
00:32:35,587 --> 00:32:37,087
What are you...? Huh?
- Pat.
740
00:32:37,212 --> 00:32:39,254
It doesn't actually take
a genius at times
741
00:32:39,379 --> 00:32:40,921
to figure out
who are the square pegs
742
00:32:41,046 --> 00:32:42,462
in a room full of round holes.
743
00:32:42,587 --> 00:32:44,921
We've got a new guy, Sammy,
who started with us.
744
00:32:45,046 --> 00:32:46,129
Nice bloke.
745
00:32:46,254 --> 00:32:48,212
He's a hard worker,
there's no doubt about that,
746
00:32:48,337 --> 00:32:49,796
but he's hard work.
747
00:32:49,921 --> 00:32:51,462
Always going on
about this bloody marriage
748
00:32:51,587 --> 00:32:53,004
and, "Is this gonna go right?"
749
00:32:53,129 --> 00:32:54,587
Or "Is that gonna go
bloody right?"
750
00:32:55,712 --> 00:32:57,212
Is he gonna marry her or not?
751
00:32:57,337 --> 00:32:59,212
I'd say so.
They've got a wedding.
752
00:32:59,337 --> 00:33:01,129
He's either gonna marry her
or not marry her.
753
00:33:01,254 --> 00:33:03,212
If he ain't gonna marry her,
I'll give her one.
754
00:33:03,337 --> 00:33:04,879
Look, mate.
755
00:33:08,421 --> 00:33:11,421
I understand
what you're saying, I really do,
756
00:33:11,546 --> 00:33:13,046
and I am hearing you,
757
00:33:13,171 --> 00:33:15,296
but, mate, what you've
gotta understand
758
00:33:15,421 --> 00:33:17,129
is there is a smell in here
759
00:33:17,254 --> 00:33:20,129
that is gonna outlast
religion, alright?
760
00:33:20,254 --> 00:33:23,129
So can you just give me ears
a rest for a minute?
761
00:33:23,254 --> 00:33:25,504
Just give it a break for a sec
762
00:33:25,629 --> 00:33:28,504
and we'll talk about it
later, alright?
763
00:33:28,629 --> 00:33:30,837
I'd appreciate it, mate.
764
00:33:30,962 --> 00:33:32,462
Now you know how I feel.
765
00:33:32,587 --> 00:33:34,004
Yeah, I do.
766
00:33:34,129 --> 00:33:35,712
Just like Pat - full of shit.
767
00:33:43,046 --> 00:33:45,379
Keep going that way,
over towards the ambulance.
768
00:33:45,504 --> 00:33:47,087
Face it, she's had
too many drinks, mate.
769
00:33:48,254 --> 00:33:50,129
It doesn't matter whether
she's drunk or on drugs,
770
00:33:50,254 --> 00:33:51,671
just get her through, will you?
771
00:33:51,796 --> 00:33:54,712
Just push the crowd, will you?
Just push, will you?
772
00:33:54,837 --> 00:33:57,046
Get in front and push
the crowd out of the way.
773
00:33:57,171 --> 00:33:58,837
I'm trying to get through
but I can't.
774
00:33:58,962 --> 00:34:01,004
I often get nervous
on days like these
775
00:34:01,129 --> 00:34:02,921
at these big beach festivals, you know.
776
00:34:03,046 --> 00:34:04,629
They draw a very big crowd
777
00:34:04,754 --> 00:34:06,712
and we quite often
have to bring in extra crew.
778
00:34:06,837 --> 00:34:09,837
You know, with half the kids
on the wacky tobaccy
779
00:34:09,962 --> 00:34:11,629
and the fruity disco biscuits,
780
00:34:11,754 --> 00:34:13,629
you know, they're as mad
as a clown's cock.
781
00:34:23,046 --> 00:34:24,754
Yeah, I am, actually.
782
00:34:24,879 --> 00:34:26,921
I've got a little girl.
She's been into two toilets.
783
00:34:27,046 --> 00:34:29,921
There's no toilet paper at all.
Are you doing your job here?
784
00:34:30,046 --> 00:34:32,421
If you have a toilet, you have
to have paper, understand?
785
00:34:32,546 --> 00:34:34,379
We do, mate. I'm sorry.
I mean, we're filming...
786
00:34:34,504 --> 00:34:36,837
Don't be sorry. Don't do it again. Make
sure there's paper.
787
00:34:36,962 --> 00:34:39,379
We'll get it fixed up for you.
I've gotta go now.
788
00:34:44,671 --> 00:34:48,087
OK, what I'll do... Sam, I want you to
stay with Pat, OK?
789
00:34:48,212 --> 00:34:50,129
You stay with him
for another couple of hours.
790
00:34:50,254 --> 00:34:52,087
Have a look at this here.
791
00:34:52,212 --> 00:34:53,921
This is half my trouble here.
792
00:34:54,046 --> 00:34:56,087
See, he's supposed to be looking after
793
00:34:56,212 --> 00:34:58,379
that toilet I've been getting
all the complaints about.
794
00:34:58,504 --> 00:35:00,087
He's from university
or something.
795
00:35:00,212 --> 00:35:01,629
He's the one that rang us
796
00:35:01,754 --> 00:35:03,754
and said he wanted to make
a few extra bucks,
797
00:35:03,879 --> 00:35:05,296
and look at him.
798
00:35:05,421 --> 00:35:07,004
I've gotta tell you
something, mate.
799
00:35:07,129 --> 00:35:08,712
I appreciate you want some food,
800
00:35:08,837 --> 00:35:10,254
but we've had nothing
but complaints
801
00:35:10,379 --> 00:35:11,796
from your toilet block
802
00:35:11,921 --> 00:35:13,962
and you're over here eating
and watching the festival.
803
00:35:14,087 --> 00:35:15,629
I just left Dave
over there with it.
804
00:35:15,754 --> 00:35:17,671
I just nipped over here...
805
00:35:17,796 --> 00:35:20,296
...literally just nipped
over here for this.
806
00:35:20,421 --> 00:35:22,254
It's been a big day for all of us.
807
00:35:22,379 --> 00:35:24,212
I've been here since
six o'clock this morning.
808
00:35:24,337 --> 00:35:26,171
I know you guys
come on at midday.
809
00:35:26,296 --> 00:35:27,712
There'll be food available
later on.
810
00:35:27,837 --> 00:35:29,379
Oh, right. No, I didn't know.
811
00:35:29,504 --> 00:35:31,337
If you can just head
back to the toilets,
812
00:35:31,462 --> 00:35:33,129
you're gonna need
to give them a clean.
813
00:35:33,254 --> 00:35:34,462
You'll figure it out.
814
00:35:34,587 --> 00:35:36,754
All you do is keep toilet paper and keep
it clean.
815
00:35:36,879 --> 00:35:38,129
It's unbelievable, isn't it?
816
00:35:38,254 --> 00:35:40,004
Like I said, he's probably studying to be
817
00:35:40,129 --> 00:35:41,212
an accountant or something.
818
00:35:41,337 --> 00:35:42,962
He can't even clean a shitter.
819
00:35:43,087 --> 00:35:44,004
WOMAN: No.
How much longer?
820
00:35:44,129 --> 00:35:45,921
Look, it looks clean to me.
It looks fine.
821
00:35:46,046 --> 00:35:47,837
If you'd have seen it
five minutes ago, love,
822
00:35:47,962 --> 00:35:49,379
you wouldn't have thought so.
823
00:35:49,504 --> 00:35:52,546
But there you go.
Sorry about that. In you go.
824
00:35:56,462 --> 00:35:57,921
Have a look at this.
825
00:36:01,629 --> 00:36:05,629
Mate, I've had three complaints
about the girls toilets already.
826
00:36:05,754 --> 00:36:07,962
There's just, like, so many people in
there at the moment,
827
00:36:08,087 --> 00:36:10,129
I don't want to, er...
I can't really go in.
828
00:36:10,254 --> 00:36:12,254
There's gonna be a lot of people in
there all night.
829
00:36:12,379 --> 00:36:13,296
It's a festival.
830
00:36:13,421 --> 00:36:14,837
Even with the girls in there?
831
00:36:14,962 --> 00:36:17,629
That's your job. You can throw it over
the top of the door.
832
00:36:17,712 --> 00:36:19,337
They need paper more than
they do conversation.
833
00:36:19,462 --> 00:36:20,879
Rightio.
Alright.
834
00:36:21,004 --> 00:36:23,004
Jeez.
835
00:36:23,129 --> 00:36:25,087
PAT: I've just gotta talk to you
about something.
836
00:36:25,212 --> 00:36:27,504
Yeah, what's wrong?
I've been here for 12 months.
837
00:36:27,629 --> 00:36:29,754
He's been here for two weeks!
- Yeah.
838
00:36:29,879 --> 00:36:30,796
And he's honestly,
839
00:36:30,921 --> 00:36:32,337
he's constantly telling me
what to do.
840
00:36:32,462 --> 00:36:33,962
He's really starting
to piss me off.
841
00:36:34,087 --> 00:36:35,879
I mean, is there a hierarchy here or
something?
842
00:36:36,004 --> 00:36:39,421
No, no, there's no hierarchy, Pat. We're
all shitkickers, mate.
843
00:36:39,546 --> 00:36:41,296
There's no pecking order
in poo, mate.
844
00:36:41,421 --> 00:36:43,212
Well, no, but at the same time,
you know,
845
00:36:43,337 --> 00:36:44,504
there's a loyalty there
846
00:36:44,629 --> 00:36:46,046
if you've been here
for two weeks,
847
00:36:46,171 --> 00:36:47,587
or if you've been here
for 12 months.
848
00:36:47,712 --> 00:36:49,171
I mean, he thinks
he's in charge.
849
00:36:58,212 --> 00:36:59,754
MAN: Hey, Kenny?
Yes, mate?
850
00:36:59,879 --> 00:37:01,837
This woman, she's lost
her ring down the toilet.
851
00:37:01,962 --> 00:37:03,504
Which woman? Which one?
852
00:37:03,629 --> 00:37:05,254
She's just that one over there.
853
00:37:05,379 --> 00:37:06,796
What's she done?
854
00:37:06,921 --> 00:37:08,629
She's lost her wedding ring
down the toilet
855
00:37:08,754 --> 00:37:10,296
and she wants us to get it out.
856
00:37:10,421 --> 00:37:11,837
So what do you do?
857
00:37:11,962 --> 00:37:13,421
You'll need to deal with that.
858
00:37:13,546 --> 00:37:15,754
Look, you head over there
and get a start on it
859
00:37:15,879 --> 00:37:17,421
and I'll come over
and help you out.
860
00:37:17,546 --> 00:37:18,462
But how do you...
861
00:37:18,587 --> 00:37:20,129
Well, you've just gotta
fish it out.
862
00:37:20,254 --> 00:37:21,796
I'll be over there
in five minutes.
863
00:37:21,921 --> 00:37:24,129
You've gotta get in real quick, mate,
because it'll settle.
864
00:37:24,254 --> 00:37:26,046
You've gotta get into it
pretty straightaway, mate.
865
00:37:26,171 --> 00:37:27,629
You've had a pretty easy day.
866
00:37:27,754 --> 00:37:29,171
You've had a good day so far
867
00:37:29,296 --> 00:37:30,837
and this is something
you have to do.
868
00:37:30,962 --> 00:37:32,379
We do it all the time.
869
00:37:32,504 --> 00:37:34,046
We've promised
we're gonna get her ring
870
00:37:34,171 --> 00:37:35,671
and that's what we have to do.
871
00:37:35,796 --> 00:37:38,462
I reckon I could feel it with gloves if I
had some gloves.
872
00:37:38,546 --> 00:37:40,546
Mate, you're gonna have
to take my word for it.
873
00:37:40,671 --> 00:37:43,421
If you put the gloves on,
you're not gonna feel the ring.
874
00:37:43,546 --> 00:37:46,212
There's nothing... Mate,
it only happened a minute ago.
875
00:37:46,337 --> 00:37:48,712
It's gonna be sitting pretty much on the
top of the pile.
876
00:37:48,837 --> 00:37:50,254
That's why you can't have gloves
877
00:37:50,379 --> 00:37:51,837
or you'll push it straight into it.
878
00:37:51,962 --> 00:37:53,796
Just bung your hand
down there and grab it,
879
00:37:53,921 --> 00:37:55,421
and as soon as you're done,
880
00:37:55,546 --> 00:37:57,171
we'll wash her ring, obviously,
and your hand
881
00:37:57,296 --> 00:37:58,504
and it'll all be over.
882
00:37:58,629 --> 00:38:01,046
It's 85% water, mate.
There's nothing to worry about.
883
00:38:01,171 --> 00:38:03,546
I thought this would be corporate
bathrooms,
884
00:38:03,671 --> 00:38:04,587
you know.
885
00:38:04,712 --> 00:38:06,296
It says 'corporate bathrooms'.
886
00:38:06,421 --> 00:38:07,921
It's only a logo.
887
00:38:08,046 --> 00:38:09,462
I thought it'd be businessmen and stuff.
888
00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:11,587
You reckon all the girls
on Virgin Airlines are virgins?
889
00:38:11,712 --> 00:38:13,171
Sorry.
890
00:38:13,296 --> 00:38:14,754
But...
891
00:38:17,421 --> 00:38:19,837
I'll do it myself.
892
00:38:19,962 --> 00:38:21,379
(Locks door)
893
00:38:21,504 --> 00:38:23,462
Good luck with his
bloody degree. Jesus.
894
00:38:25,087 --> 00:38:27,754
How are you going, love? Well,
there you go. We got it back.
895
00:38:27,837 --> 00:38:29,629
That's her there.
That's your ring, isn't it?
896
00:38:29,754 --> 00:38:31,379
That's the one. Thanks.
Fantastic.
897
00:38:31,504 --> 00:38:32,921
Well, there you go.
OK.
898
00:38:33,046 --> 00:38:34,462
Hang on.
You right?
899
00:38:34,587 --> 00:38:36,004
It's a bit embarrassing.
900
00:38:36,129 --> 00:38:38,337
No, it happens all the time.
It's not the first time.
901
00:38:38,462 --> 00:38:40,004
I'll pop it in there for you.
902
00:38:40,129 --> 00:38:41,546
Thanks for that.
- No worries.
903
00:38:41,671 --> 00:38:43,212
I'll see you later, then.
904
00:38:48,046 --> 00:38:49,879
Great, this is.
905
00:38:50,004 --> 00:38:51,921
I've bloody... I've been
held up here
906
00:38:52,046 --> 00:38:53,462
and now I've just found out
907
00:38:53,587 --> 00:38:56,087
I've gotta drive the truck
back to the depot,
908
00:38:56,212 --> 00:38:59,546
and I'm supposed to be at
my brother's birthday tonight.
909
00:39:02,254 --> 00:39:04,296
I will say one thing,
910
00:39:04,421 --> 00:39:07,462
and that is today's
just about got me beat.
911
00:39:07,587 --> 00:39:11,421
I'm not exactly gonna be
the life of the party tonight.
912
00:39:11,546 --> 00:39:13,171
Today was...
913
00:39:13,296 --> 00:39:15,587
Today was a pretty long day.
914
00:39:15,712 --> 00:39:18,171
Like I said, I can't let you in.
915
00:39:18,296 --> 00:39:19,212
With what you're wearing,
916
00:39:19,337 --> 00:39:20,879
I can't let you in there
tonight, alright?
917
00:39:21,004 --> 00:39:23,087
I understand.
Well, can you go in?
918
00:39:23,212 --> 00:39:27,046
No, I can't. I need to stay here
and look after this door.
919
00:39:27,171 --> 00:39:28,629
I can't let you in.
920
00:39:28,754 --> 00:39:30,921
He's just in here.
921
00:39:32,046 --> 00:39:33,712
Sorry, can you get David?
922
00:39:33,837 --> 00:39:36,046
Yeah, can you grab him for us?
923
00:39:36,171 --> 00:39:37,879
One minute, mate, alright?
Just one minute.
924
00:39:38,004 --> 00:39:40,462
I'll come back out once
I've found him. Thanks, mate.
925
00:39:42,379 --> 00:39:43,921
Go home, get changed
and come back.
926
00:39:44,046 --> 00:39:46,129
I'm not introducing you
to people in fuckin' overalls.
927
00:39:46,254 --> 00:39:48,087
Jesus Christ.
I wouldn't do that to you.
928
00:39:48,212 --> 00:39:51,004
Did I fuckin' turn up to your 21st in a
fuckin' pair of shorts?
929
00:39:51,129 --> 00:39:53,254
Well, look, it wouldn't
worry me, would it?
930
00:39:53,379 --> 00:39:55,546
Look, I'd go home
and get changed,
931
00:39:55,671 --> 00:39:57,462
but it's gonna take me
2 to 2.5 hours.
932
00:39:57,587 --> 00:40:01,171
I've gotta go to Werribee and
dump a load in the truck, so...
933
00:40:01,296 --> 00:40:02,754
Alright, then.
934
00:40:02,879 --> 00:40:04,962
How about I give you a ring
during the week?
935
00:40:05,087 --> 00:40:08,129
I'd prefer if you came back, but
if you've gotta do that, do that.
936
00:40:08,254 --> 00:40:10,462
Well, I won't have time.
I'll ring you during the week.
937
00:40:10,587 --> 00:40:12,129
Happy birthday anyway.
Thank you.
938
00:40:12,254 --> 00:40:13,754
Alright. Have a good one.
939
00:40:17,712 --> 00:40:19,921
Thanks, mate. Thank you.
940
00:40:37,921 --> 00:40:40,754
I have very fond memories
of my childhood.
941
00:40:40,879 --> 00:40:44,046
You know, David and I
were brought up on a farm
942
00:40:44,171 --> 00:40:45,879
in sort of northern Victoria.
943
00:40:46,004 --> 00:40:50,546
Mum and Dad were... they were
farmers. They had an orchard.
944
00:40:50,671 --> 00:40:53,046
And that's where I spent
my entire youth, you know.
945
00:40:53,171 --> 00:40:55,129
I'd only ever been to the city...
946
00:40:55,254 --> 00:40:58,587
We used to come down
to the city on the fruit runs
947
00:40:58,712 --> 00:41:01,754
when it was time to deliver
all the fruit to the market.
948
00:41:01,879 --> 00:41:04,629
I try and get down here
pretty much every year
949
00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:06,421
for Mum's birthday.
950
00:41:07,712 --> 00:41:11,587
Mum brought me these gloves.
They're beauties.
951
00:41:11,712 --> 00:41:15,087
Little sleeve there with a button
as if they're off a suit.
952
00:41:15,212 --> 00:41:17,379
Good sense of humour, my mother.
953
00:41:19,587 --> 00:41:21,754
I don't know if David
comes down here much
954
00:41:21,879 --> 00:41:24,129
and I know Dad still finds it
pretty hard,
955
00:41:24,254 --> 00:41:26,379
but I actually like coming up
956
00:41:26,504 --> 00:41:28,712
and, you know, I don the gloves
957
00:41:28,837 --> 00:41:30,254
and I give her marble cubbyhouse
958
00:41:30,379 --> 00:41:31,921
a bit of a once over, you know.
959
00:41:32,046 --> 00:41:34,004
Give it a bit of a spruce up.
960
00:41:34,129 --> 00:41:36,171
Good... good fun lady,
my mum'
961
00:41:36,296 --> 00:41:38,337
and well-liked in the town,
you know.
962
00:41:38,462 --> 00:41:39,962
'Big cake lady', they'd call her.
963
00:41:40,087 --> 00:41:42,046
She wasn't a good cook,
but she made big cakes,
964
00:41:42,171 --> 00:41:44,337
and that was pretty popular
with all me mates.
965
00:41:45,587 --> 00:41:47,337
Very affectionate woman, my mum.
966
00:41:47,462 --> 00:41:48,879
When you were being
hugged by her,
967
00:41:49,004 --> 00:41:50,421
you knew you were being held
968
00:41:50,546 --> 00:41:51,962
because Mum's shape...
from behind,
969
00:41:52,087 --> 00:41:54,296
she looked like a fridge
with a head, but, you know,
970
00:41:54,421 --> 00:41:56,462
you knew you were being cared for,
you know,
971
00:41:56,587 --> 00:42:00,379
'cause Dad's emotional bank
account had two cents in it.
972
00:42:00,504 --> 00:42:02,046
So Mum let you know
you were loved
973
00:42:02,171 --> 00:42:04,962
and Dad kept the work going
to keep the money coming in.
974
00:42:05,087 --> 00:42:08,087
And that's the way it was
in those days, you know.
975
00:42:15,087 --> 00:42:17,754
MAN OVER P. A: Drivers
in the drag-racing category,
976
00:42:17,879 --> 00:42:19,712
could you move to lane six?
977
00:42:24,004 --> 00:42:27,337
It's a pretty strange place,
I suppose,
978
00:42:27,462 --> 00:42:30,337
to have a church at a racetrack.
979
00:42:30,462 --> 00:42:32,879
They've actually got it here
for the drivers,
980
00:42:33,004 --> 00:42:34,629
somewhere that they can
say a prayer
981
00:42:34,754 --> 00:42:36,796
before they go out
to a dangerous race,
982
00:42:36,921 --> 00:42:38,712
which I think is good.
983
00:42:42,046 --> 00:42:43,837
I hope no-one ever gets offended by the
fact
984
00:42:43,962 --> 00:42:45,754
that I come here
and have something to eat,
985
00:42:45,879 --> 00:42:47,504
but I don't think anyone does.
986
00:42:47,629 --> 00:42:49,421
I mean, I'm just having
a sandwich, you know.
987
00:42:49,546 --> 00:42:51,087
I mean, after all, it is bread -
988
00:42:51,212 --> 00:42:53,421
I'm having my daily bread,
you know.
989
00:42:53,546 --> 00:42:56,212
And I don't think
you need to be religious
990
00:42:56,337 --> 00:42:58,004
to feel the effects of a church,
991
00:42:58,129 --> 00:43:00,671
and that's why I choose
to come and sit here.
992
00:43:00,796 --> 00:43:03,587
You know,
it's a very calming place.
993
00:43:03,712 --> 00:43:05,629
(CAR ENGINES REV LOUDLY)
994
00:43:22,796 --> 00:43:26,337
You know, I think the racing event they
put on here
995
00:43:26,462 --> 00:43:27,379
is sensational.
996
00:43:27,504 --> 00:43:29,171
I mean, there is something here
for everybody.
997
00:43:29,296 --> 00:43:30,921
But wouldn't you know it,
998
00:43:31,046 --> 00:43:34,087
you still get the same old pack of
pinheads
999
00:43:34,212 --> 00:43:36,046
that wanna ruin it
for everyone else.
1000
00:43:39,421 --> 00:43:42,337
They camp at the southern end
of the racetrack
1001
00:43:42,462 --> 00:43:46,421
and they get up to
all sorts of mischief.
1002
00:43:46,546 --> 00:43:49,046
The thing that really gets
my goat about these monkeys
1003
00:43:49,171 --> 00:43:51,921
is that we have to, by law,
1004
00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:53,754
supply them
with these toilets, right?
1005
00:43:53,879 --> 00:43:57,837
And every year, without fail,
after the end of the last race,
1006
00:43:57,962 --> 00:43:59,712
they set fire to the bastards.
1007
00:43:59,837 --> 00:44:02,212
What we'll do is
if we can get up there
1008
00:44:02,337 --> 00:44:04,754
15 minutes before
the last race starts, right,
1009
00:44:04,879 --> 00:44:06,296
before the Pitman Challenge,
1010
00:44:06,421 --> 00:44:09,337
and the only way we can get
there, right, is via the racetrack.
1011
00:44:09,462 --> 00:44:11,504
If we drive around
the other side of the track,
1012
00:44:11,629 --> 00:44:14,171
jump over the barrier
and we stand with them,
1013
00:44:14,296 --> 00:44:16,546
that'll be enough to deter them
from setting fire to them.
1014
00:44:16,671 --> 00:44:18,087
Can't the cops do that?
1015
00:44:18,212 --> 00:44:20,421
Well, no, they can't. Our job's
to save the toilets, alright?
1016
00:44:20,546 --> 00:44:22,296
Shut up, Pat, they're not worried about
fuckin' toilets.
1017
00:44:22,421 --> 00:44:23,837
What's wrong with you,
you plonker?
1018
00:44:23,962 --> 00:44:26,171
We haven't... Guys,
just focus for a minute, alright?
1019
00:44:26,296 --> 00:44:28,379
There's only
a few more cars to drag,
1020
00:44:28,504 --> 00:44:29,962
so we should
get going now, right?
1021
00:44:55,004 --> 00:44:58,587
You know, if I can just save one
toilet, I'll be happy, I reckon.
1022
00:44:58,712 --> 00:45:00,212
You have got to be joking!
1023
00:45:00,337 --> 00:45:01,754
It's the equaliser, isn't it?
1024
00:45:01,879 --> 00:45:04,546
Oh, Jesus Christ, fellas,
can we just work together?
1025
00:45:04,629 --> 00:45:06,171
Can we just work together
on this one?
1026
00:45:06,296 --> 00:45:08,629
Put the bloody
thumper bar away, mate!
1027
00:45:11,004 --> 00:45:13,212
Shit!
Jesus Christ.
1028
00:45:13,337 --> 00:45:14,879
The fuckin' race has started.
1029
00:45:15,004 --> 00:45:16,421
Look, just pull over.
Hey, shut up.
1030
00:45:16,546 --> 00:45:18,921
Hang on, boys!
1031
00:45:20,171 --> 00:45:22,629
Just hang on!
Shut it!
1032
00:45:22,754 --> 00:45:24,171
For fuck's sake!
1033
00:45:24,296 --> 00:45:25,337
Just keep...
1034
00:45:25,462 --> 00:45:27,837
(TRUCK HORNS BLARE)
1035
00:45:27,962 --> 00:45:29,921
We're here driving
in the middle of a truck race...
1036
00:45:30,046 --> 00:45:32,046
Don't worry about anything!
(Yells indistinctly)
1037
00:45:32,171 --> 00:45:33,879
Just hang on!
Let me concentrate!
1038
00:45:34,004 --> 00:45:35,671
Now, shut up, for Christ's sake.
1039
00:45:35,796 --> 00:45:37,379
Are the boys
on the back alright?
1040
00:45:37,504 --> 00:45:39,879
Pat, just look at the boys
in the back. Are they alright?
1041
00:45:40,004 --> 00:45:41,421
I don't believe it, Pat.
1042
00:45:41,546 --> 00:45:42,962
You're fuckin' like
a nancy fuckin' ninny!
1043
00:45:43,087 --> 00:45:45,087
Guys, can we just calm down?!
- He is out of control.
1044
00:45:45,212 --> 00:45:46,754
What do you mean
'out of control'?!
1045
00:45:46,879 --> 00:45:49,046
You are fuckin' out of control.
- I'm not out of fuckin' control!
1046
00:45:49,171 --> 00:45:50,962
Please, do me a favour...
1047
00:45:51,087 --> 00:45:52,671
Oh, Jesus Christ,
1048
00:45:52,796 --> 00:45:55,004
they've already lit
one of the toilets, the bastards!
1049
00:45:58,171 --> 00:46:00,087
Alright, guys,
there's a break, come on!
1050
00:46:00,212 --> 00:46:02,254
Come on. Go, go, go!
1051
00:46:02,379 --> 00:46:04,546
Go to the wall!
1052
00:46:04,671 --> 00:46:06,212
Oh, look at these mongrels.
1053
00:46:07,421 --> 00:46:09,879
What are you doing, Pat?
What are you doing?!
1054
00:46:10,004 --> 00:46:12,671
Sammy, wait for...
Sammy?! Sammy?!
1055
00:46:12,754 --> 00:46:16,171
(Crowd roars)
1056
00:46:35,462 --> 00:46:36,171
Get it up.
1057
00:46:39,921 --> 00:46:43,004
Oi! You spilled my beer,
you bastards!
1058
00:46:46,629 --> 00:46:48,837
Let go of him.
1059
00:46:56,587 --> 00:46:58,921
Oh, Jesus!
1060
00:46:59,046 --> 00:47:01,712
Put it out, Thommo. Put it out.
No, mate, me!
1061
00:47:01,837 --> 00:47:04,171
Leg, leg, leg! Oh, jeez.
1062
00:47:04,296 --> 00:47:06,879
Get it, Thommo.
Put it out. Get it!
1063
00:47:07,004 --> 00:47:08,421
Right, that's enough!
1064
00:47:08,546 --> 00:47:10,421
You've all had
enough fun now, alright?
1065
00:47:10,546 --> 00:47:12,254
(Crowd cheers)
Come on, you've had your fun!
1066
00:47:12,379 --> 00:47:14,837
Get going, you hoons!
1067
00:47:18,879 --> 00:47:21,379
Let's lock 'em all up, boys.
They're unlocked.
1068
00:47:21,504 --> 00:47:23,171
Let's lock 'em up. Alright.
1069
00:47:23,296 --> 00:47:25,712
You right?
Yeah, I'm alright.
1070
00:47:25,837 --> 00:47:27,296
Everyone alright?
1071
00:47:41,712 --> 00:47:43,921
Pretty crazy old night
that one, wasn't it?
1072
00:47:44,046 --> 00:47:45,462
I mean, that's really put me
1073
00:47:45,587 --> 00:47:48,171
to the end of my test tonight,
I tell you what.
1074
00:47:48,296 --> 00:47:50,712
That's... that's almost
my limit, I reckon.
1075
00:47:50,837 --> 00:47:53,046
I mean, no man
should be set on fire
1076
00:47:53,171 --> 00:47:55,921
trying to save one of
his shitters, you know.
1077
00:47:57,587 --> 00:48:00,379
It's... ridiculous.
1078
00:48:00,504 --> 00:48:04,087
(Men sing drunkenly)
1079
00:48:09,421 --> 00:48:11,921
The problem is
it's Glenn's decision,
1080
00:48:12,046 --> 00:48:13,587
I won't be able to have you here
1081
00:48:13,712 --> 00:48:15,254
and I'm sorry
it's worked out that way.
1082
00:48:15,379 --> 00:48:18,171
All I did was trot up there to try
and save the fuckin' toilets.
1083
00:48:18,296 --> 00:48:20,796
But you punched the guy out.
He got in the way.
1084
00:48:20,921 --> 00:48:22,337
Sammy, every event we do,
1085
00:48:22,462 --> 00:48:24,337
there's people in between us and the
toilets.
1086
00:48:24,462 --> 00:48:25,879
If you run around
punching people out
1087
00:48:26,004 --> 00:48:27,546
every time you've gotta
get to a toilet,
1088
00:48:27,671 --> 00:48:29,462
we'll have to be sponsored
by Don King, mate.
1089
00:48:29,587 --> 00:48:31,421
We're plumbers,
you know what I'm saying?
1090
00:48:31,546 --> 00:48:32,546
Well, where was Pat?
1091
00:48:32,671 --> 00:48:34,379
Pat was doing
a backward flip, wasn't he?
1092
00:48:34,504 --> 00:48:36,254
Mate, I know he was
going backwards.
1093
00:48:36,379 --> 00:48:39,212
He's not cut of the same mustard of
you and me, mate.
1094
00:48:39,337 --> 00:48:43,546
And the point is, he's paid
as a plumber, not a title fighter.
1095
00:48:43,671 --> 00:48:45,254
He's a toilet cleaner, mate.
1096
00:48:45,379 --> 00:48:47,379
Mate, the decision's been made.
1097
00:48:47,504 --> 00:48:51,421
And the reality is that
I've just gotta let you go.
1098
00:48:51,546 --> 00:48:55,296
I need this job big-time,
I'm telling you. I need it.
1099
00:48:55,421 --> 00:48:57,379
I'm gonna be evicted
from me house.
1100
00:48:57,504 --> 00:48:59,296
If I lose this job,
I'm gonna have nowhere.
1101
00:48:59,421 --> 00:49:01,629
No, you can't sack me.
1102
00:49:01,754 --> 00:49:04,587
You tell him I'll be here seven
o'clock Monday morning.
1103
00:49:04,712 --> 00:49:07,421
Sammy, I can't do that, mate.
You know that.
1104
00:49:07,546 --> 00:49:09,462
The only thing I can do for you
1105
00:49:09,587 --> 00:49:11,379
just to get you
out of a tight spot
1106
00:49:11,504 --> 00:49:13,087
is I can lend you
some money here.
1107
00:49:13,212 --> 00:49:15,171
Throw that
in your skyrocket there.
1108
00:49:15,296 --> 00:49:17,337
Thanks, Kenny. I appreciate it.
That's alright, mate.
1109
00:49:17,462 --> 00:49:19,462
Just sit there and
have a rest for a minute.
1110
00:49:19,587 --> 00:49:21,212
And just let me
grab you a coffee
1111
00:49:21,337 --> 00:49:24,379
and just sit there for a minute
and have a rest, eh?
1112
00:49:33,796 --> 00:49:35,254
(BELL RINGS)
1113
00:49:38,712 --> 00:49:40,254
Go, Kenny, go!
1114
00:49:42,296 --> 00:49:44,296
Dig deep! Go on! Dig deep!
1115
00:49:45,629 --> 00:49:47,546
Kenny, what are you doing?!
1116
00:49:47,671 --> 00:49:50,462
Come on, Ken, work! Work it!
1117
00:49:50,587 --> 00:49:52,671
Work! Hold it up!
1118
00:49:52,796 --> 00:49:55,379
What are you doing, Kenny?!
Come here!
1119
00:49:55,504 --> 00:49:56,921
You can't train like this, mate.
1120
00:49:57,046 --> 00:49:59,962
You either gotta give it
a fair go or get out.
1121
00:50:00,087 --> 00:50:03,337
Now get in there and have a go.
I might call it a night, eh?
1122
00:50:03,462 --> 00:50:05,171
I'm not feeling up to it.
1123
00:50:16,254 --> 00:50:18,296
You've gotta have
someone else to do this.
1124
00:50:18,421 --> 00:50:20,837
I can't do all this
with all the work we've got on.
1125
00:50:20,962 --> 00:50:24,629
With Sammy gone and bloody Pat off
getting married, Glenn,
1126
00:50:24,754 --> 00:50:26,171
I can't do this.
1127
00:50:26,296 --> 00:50:28,087
GLENN: Look, you're going.
I've already booked the tickets.
1128
00:50:28,212 --> 00:50:29,212
What do you mean...
1129
00:50:29,337 --> 00:50:30,754
And you're flying
business class too.
1130
00:50:30,879 --> 00:50:32,546
But you told me about this show.
1131
00:50:32,671 --> 00:50:34,712
This show's enormous.
Can't you go?
1132
00:50:34,837 --> 00:50:37,129
Listen, relax, you're getting
too wound up about it.
1133
00:50:37,254 --> 00:50:38,712
We'll cope down here, alright?
1134
00:50:40,796 --> 00:50:42,296
What's this?
1135
00:50:43,462 --> 00:50:44,879
Believe me, mate,
you'll have a ball.
1136
00:50:45,004 --> 00:50:45,921
It's Nashville, Tennessee.
1137
00:50:46,046 --> 00:50:47,921
You'll get over there,
you work a couple of days,
1138
00:50:48,046 --> 00:50:49,462
the rest you'll just
enjoy yourself.
1139
00:50:49,587 --> 00:50:52,254
Did you know about this?
1140
00:50:52,379 --> 00:50:55,421
(PHONE RINGS)
1141
00:50:55,546 --> 00:50:57,337
I'll be buggered.
1142
00:50:58,462 --> 00:51:00,546
Me own business cards.
1143
00:51:00,671 --> 00:51:02,212
(Chuckles)
1144
00:51:04,796 --> 00:51:07,004
WOMAN: Hello, Mr Sacks,
how are you?
1145
00:51:07,129 --> 00:51:08,546
MAN: Fine, thank you.
Very good.
1146
00:51:08,671 --> 00:51:10,462
It's on the far side,
thank you very much.
1147
00:51:10,587 --> 00:51:12,004
How are you going?
Hello.
1148
00:51:12,129 --> 00:51:14,712
Mr Smyth, that's
the far aisle, thank you.
1149
00:51:14,837 --> 00:51:16,796
No worries, alright.
There's a card there.
1150
00:51:16,921 --> 00:51:18,921
That's... I'm Kenny, obviously.
Alright.
1151
00:51:19,046 --> 00:51:20,462
Just if you need me or anything.
1152
00:51:20,587 --> 00:51:22,379
So, down this way here?
No, the far aisle.
1153
00:51:22,504 --> 00:51:24,462
Alright, no worries,
thanks for that.
1154
00:51:24,587 --> 00:51:26,546
Gee, look at the size of this.
1155
00:51:37,962 --> 00:51:40,671
There's a lot of people here,
isn't there?
1156
00:51:44,837 --> 00:51:47,754
You pop your bags
up the top, do you?
1157
00:51:47,879 --> 00:51:49,962
Your bags go up the top,
is that right?
1158
00:51:50,087 --> 00:51:52,337
This is, uh...
little boy gave me this
1159
00:51:52,462 --> 00:51:54,629
just to bring this along
to remember him.
1160
00:51:54,754 --> 00:51:56,171
'Best Dad', it says.
1161
00:51:56,296 --> 00:51:58,629
It's not a bad award
that one, is it?
1162
00:52:04,129 --> 00:52:07,421
I'm, uh... I'm Kenny,
anyway, mate.
1163
00:52:07,546 --> 00:52:10,212
How are you going?
There's my card there, actually.
1164
00:52:10,337 --> 00:52:11,879
That's my name there.
1165
00:52:12,004 --> 00:52:14,671
This your first time on a plane?
1166
00:52:14,796 --> 00:52:17,129
No, you fly quite a bit.
1167
00:52:19,129 --> 00:52:20,796
Better whack
the old seatbelt on.
1168
00:52:20,921 --> 00:52:21,962
I wonder what the fine
1169
00:52:22,087 --> 00:52:23,879
for not wearing a seatbelt
on a plane is.
1170
00:52:24,004 --> 00:52:26,837
It's 150 bucks in a car,
it'd cost a fortune on a plane.
1171
00:52:26,962 --> 00:52:28,379
INTERCOM:
Ladies and gentlemen,
1172
00:52:28,504 --> 00:52:30,046
from the flight deck,
a very good morning.
1173
00:52:30,171 --> 00:52:32,129
The captain speaking:.
1174
00:52:32,254 --> 00:52:35,254
This is fun. This is fun.
1175
00:52:37,796 --> 00:52:41,212
I wish me boy could be here with me.
He'd love this.
1176
00:52:48,587 --> 00:52:50,754
Here we go.
1177
00:53:03,879 --> 00:53:05,462
Where does the... the...?
1178
00:53:06,796 --> 00:53:08,379
I'm not sure how that plugs in.
1179
00:53:08,504 --> 00:53:13,254
It must be... screwed into
the backing plate or something.
1180
00:53:13,379 --> 00:53:15,212
(TOILET FLUSHES)
1181
00:53:15,337 --> 00:53:17,129
Holy shit!
1182
00:53:17,254 --> 00:53:18,879
Hell's bells!
1183
00:53:19,004 --> 00:53:20,546
That is just off its tree.
1184
00:53:20,671 --> 00:53:23,129
They've won me over with that.
1185
00:53:23,254 --> 00:53:24,587
There you go, mate.
1186
00:53:24,712 --> 00:53:26,046
Sorry about that.
No worries.
1187
00:53:26,171 --> 00:53:27,587
Just watch it in there, mate.
1188
00:53:27,712 --> 00:53:29,546
That machine,
once you press that flusher,
1189
00:53:29,671 --> 00:53:33,171
that thing'll probably suck your
guts out through your bum.
1190
00:53:38,629 --> 00:53:40,587
I don't know, I guess
this'd make sense
1191
00:53:40,712 --> 00:53:42,629
if we were going to Hawaii
or something,
1192
00:53:42,754 --> 00:53:45,504
but it's supposed to help
with the circulation.
1193
00:53:45,629 --> 00:53:47,837
But I don't know how long you're
supposed to do it for,
1194
00:53:47,962 --> 00:53:48,879
you know.
1195
00:53:49,004 --> 00:53:51,379
If I do it for five minutes,
is that the world record?
1196
00:53:51,504 --> 00:53:54,296
Or if I do it for two hours,
is that not enough?
1197
00:54:11,046 --> 00:54:15,046
Seems to be a problem
up there with the toilets.
1198
00:54:15,171 --> 00:54:19,796
Well, they certainly seem to be
fussing around with it.
1199
00:54:23,462 --> 00:54:25,379
I think I've broken the toilet
1200
00:54:25,504 --> 00:54:28,462
when I've undone the clips
on the back of it.
1201
00:54:28,587 --> 00:54:30,796
I'm gonna have to sort this out.
1202
00:54:30,921 --> 00:54:32,087
You right here?
1203
00:54:32,212 --> 00:54:34,171
Having trouble here?
Oh, yeah, look, it's fine.
1204
00:54:34,296 --> 00:54:37,462
The ground staff in L.A. Will
deal with it when we get there.
1205
00:54:37,587 --> 00:54:38,921
Oh, that's fine. I've, um...
1206
00:54:39,046 --> 00:54:40,462
I actually work with Splashdown.
1207
00:54:40,587 --> 00:54:42,962
We fix toilets. I can have
a look at it for you.
1208
00:54:43,087 --> 00:54:45,046
Oh, it's fine. Actually,
we can't let you in there.
1209
00:54:45,171 --> 00:54:48,087
Oh, no, no, this is actually what
I do. It's alright, I'll show you.
1210
00:54:48,212 --> 00:54:50,379
Yeah, I work with toilets
all the time.
1211
00:54:50,504 --> 00:54:52,379
This... There's a clip there
1212
00:54:52,504 --> 00:54:54,712
and there's another clip
just in there.
1213
00:54:54,837 --> 00:54:56,837
And once you...
(TOILET FLUSHES)
1214
00:54:56,962 --> 00:54:58,712
Cheers. (Chuckles)
1215
00:54:58,837 --> 00:55:00,629
Well, thanks for doing that.
- Oh, that's alright.
1216
00:55:00,754 --> 00:55:02,171
'Cause we're not
usually allowed to...
1217
00:55:02,296 --> 00:55:04,254
I mean, that would be...
- Oh, it's what I do.
1218
00:55:04,379 --> 00:55:05,587
Kind of what the business does.
1219
00:55:05,712 --> 00:55:06,629
Splashdown.
- Yeah.
1220
00:55:06,754 --> 00:55:09,671
Corporate bathroom rentals.
It's alright.
1221
00:55:09,796 --> 00:55:11,796
It's nothing too flash
but, you know,
1222
00:55:11,921 --> 00:55:14,046
here it is, got me,
it's got me travelling overseas.
1223
00:55:14,171 --> 00:55:16,837
In fact, this is my first time
I've ever been on an aeroplane.
1224
00:55:16,921 --> 00:55:18,337
(Incredulously) No.
Ever.
1225
00:55:18,462 --> 00:55:21,921
I'm the first person
out of our whole family
1226
00:55:22,046 --> 00:55:25,379
to ever have flown
out of Australia.
1227
00:55:25,504 --> 00:55:27,421
And I got a nice little wine here.
1228
00:55:27,546 --> 00:55:29,754
Mind you, like I said, I don't
normally drink white wine.
1229
00:55:29,879 --> 00:55:31,296
That's actually not too...
- Chardonnay.
1230
00:55:31,421 --> 00:55:33,212
What do you usually drink?
- Oh, beer.
1231
00:55:33,337 --> 00:55:34,754
Oh, well, yeah, yeah.
1232
00:55:34,879 --> 00:55:37,337
I drink beer like it's about to
go out of fashion
1233
00:55:37,462 --> 00:55:38,879
and I'm the new trendsetter.
1234
00:55:39,004 --> 00:55:40,629
(Laughs)
So I love it.
1235
00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:42,712
I'd bath in it,
if I had my own way.
1236
00:55:42,837 --> 00:55:44,254
(Laughs)
1237
00:55:44,379 --> 00:55:46,587
Is it alright if I have
a bit more of that?
1238
00:55:46,712 --> 00:55:48,337
Yeah, absolutely.
- I know it's not beer.
1239
00:55:48,462 --> 00:55:49,921
But I'm getting used to it.
1240
00:55:51,296 --> 00:55:53,962
Now, if I start to wobble
when the plane's actually still...
1241
00:55:55,587 --> 00:55:56,796
INTERCOM:
Ladies and gentlemen,
1242
00:55:56,921 --> 00:55:58,337
as we're about to begin
our descent
1243
00:55:58,462 --> 00:55:59,379
into Los Angeles Airport,
1244
00:55:59,504 --> 00:56:01,504
would you please make sure
your tray tables are stowed
1245
00:56:01,629 --> 00:56:04,296
and that your safety belts
are fastened.
1246
00:56:14,337 --> 00:56:16,462
I didn't know
it was gonna be this cold.
1247
00:56:16,587 --> 00:56:20,462
This is freezing. Must be about
five degrees or something.
1248
00:56:20,587 --> 00:56:22,796
Oh, thanks. You right?
I can grab that if you want.
1249
00:56:22,921 --> 00:56:25,296
Oh, I'll take it.
- It's got a bit of weight in that.
1250
00:56:25,421 --> 00:56:28,379
Watch that. So, are you
a real cowboy, are you, mate?
1251
00:56:28,504 --> 00:56:32,171
I'm afraid not. To tell you
the truth, I'm from New York.
1252
00:56:32,296 --> 00:56:35,421
Oh... I'm Kenny, mate, anyway.
(Laughs) - I'm Bobby.
1253
00:56:38,712 --> 00:56:41,296
You're on the wrong side
of the car here.
1254
00:56:41,421 --> 00:56:43,546
So, where are you headed?
1255
00:56:43,671 --> 00:56:47,171
I'm going to the...
Well, I'm at the poo convention.
1256
00:56:47,296 --> 00:56:49,671
Alright.
You know where that is?
1257
00:56:49,796 --> 00:56:52,129
Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do.
1258
00:56:52,254 --> 00:56:54,254
Actually, it's been pretty busy
with these gentlemen.
1259
00:56:54,379 --> 00:56:57,087
There must be an awful lot
of money in crap, huh?
1260
00:56:57,212 --> 00:56:58,129
Yeah, well...
1261
00:56:58,254 --> 00:57:00,212
Yeah, well, to be quite honest,
there's a shitload of it.
1262
00:57:00,337 --> 00:57:01,754
(Laughs)
1263
00:57:01,879 --> 00:57:03,004
You've probably been doing
1264
00:57:03,129 --> 00:57:04,546
some business for us
this morning.
1265
00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:07,254
I can't get over the size
of this place, Bobby.
1266
00:57:22,712 --> 00:57:24,962
There aren't many cowboys
in Nashville.
1267
00:57:25,087 --> 00:57:27,254
It's about the music industry.
1268
00:57:27,379 --> 00:57:30,754
There's no ranches, there's
no cattle, there's no sheep.
1269
00:57:30,879 --> 00:57:33,046
(Laughs) Yeah, right.
(Laughs) - You know?
1270
00:57:33,171 --> 00:57:34,754
Look at that city.
1271
00:57:38,171 --> 00:57:40,837
MAN ON RADIO: I got
this notice the other day.
1272
00:57:40,921 --> 00:57:43,254
Now, down at the Nashville
Convention Centre,
1273
00:57:43,379 --> 00:57:45,421
today and for
the next couple of days,
1274
00:57:45,546 --> 00:57:47,671
we've got
the world international
1275
00:57:47,796 --> 00:57:50,129
Pumper and Cleaner Show.
1276
00:57:50,254 --> 00:57:51,671
Now, they've actually
been kind enough
1277
00:57:51,796 --> 00:57:54,254
to send us four tickets,
1278
00:57:54,379 --> 00:57:56,212
and we'll be taking
your calls soon
1279
00:57:56,337 --> 00:58:00,212
and I'm going to give away
these tickets to the people...
1280
00:58:00,337 --> 00:58:02,462
Well, mate, Bobby,
I gotta tell you,
1281
00:58:02,587 --> 00:58:04,004
you're a real cowboy
to me, mate.
1282
00:58:04,129 --> 00:58:06,046
Oh, well, thank you, thank you.
- You're the real deal.
1283
00:58:06,171 --> 00:58:07,587
And there's my card too, Bob,
1284
00:58:07,712 --> 00:58:11,004
if ever you need to get a hold
of me for whatever reason.
1285
00:58:11,129 --> 00:58:14,379
Alright, enjoy, you know,
the shit-flinging convention.
1286
00:58:14,504 --> 00:58:15,921
(Both laugh)
1287
00:58:16,046 --> 00:58:18,087
Thanks, mate. I will.
- Have a good time.
1288
00:58:18,212 --> 00:58:19,629
Look after yourself, Bob.
Alright.
1289
00:58:19,754 --> 00:58:21,296
See youse, mate.
- Have a good night.
1290
00:58:39,504 --> 00:58:42,337
Oh, Jesus.
1291
00:58:42,462 --> 00:58:44,004
You see the snow?
1292
00:58:44,129 --> 00:58:46,587
That's... quite pretty.
1293
00:58:46,712 --> 00:58:48,212
Good on 'em.
1294
00:58:48,337 --> 00:58:50,087
(ALARM RINGS)
1295
00:58:50,212 --> 00:58:52,171
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
1296
00:58:57,421 --> 00:58:59,212
You know, the most
exciting time for me
1297
00:58:59,337 --> 00:59:00,754
when I was a kid growing up
1298
00:59:00,879 --> 00:59:02,754
was once a year,
Dad would take us
1299
00:59:02,879 --> 00:59:05,212
to the Royal Melbourne Show
in the city
1300
00:59:05,337 --> 00:59:08,421
to see all the tractors
and the animals and whatnot.
1301
00:59:08,546 --> 00:59:11,212
I never thought
I'd feel that way again.
1302
00:59:11,337 --> 00:59:13,587
Who was to know I would end up
1303
00:59:13,712 --> 00:59:16,546
in the land of bloody flags
and anthems
1304
00:59:16,671 --> 00:59:20,421
at a toilet expo, Poo HQ?
1305
00:59:20,546 --> 00:59:23,212
Jesus Christ.
1306
00:59:24,421 --> 00:59:27,462
(Chuckles)
1307
00:59:28,796 --> 00:59:30,421
Oh, yes.
1308
00:59:30,546 --> 00:59:32,754
Oh, yes.
1309
00:59:58,879 --> 01:00:00,962
Look at that girl there.
1310
01:00:01,087 --> 01:00:03,379
Now, that would be a dream.
1311
01:00:03,504 --> 01:00:05,921
(Reads) "Working today
for a cleaner tomorrow."
1312
01:00:06,046 --> 01:00:08,004
See, they've even got pride
in their slogans.
1313
01:00:08,129 --> 01:00:09,629
And look, they're driving
a Kenworth.
1314
01:00:09,754 --> 01:00:11,171
I mean, forget the kids.
1315
01:00:11,296 --> 01:00:13,421
If I saw this go on the road,
I'd be impressed.
1316
01:00:13,546 --> 01:00:15,671
How you going?
Kenny from Australia.
1317
01:00:15,796 --> 01:00:18,171
Good, Larry.
- You're from Australia?
1318
01:00:38,171 --> 01:00:40,754
You seen the name?
It's Ameri-Can.
1319
01:00:40,879 --> 01:00:42,337
Eh?
1320
01:00:42,462 --> 01:00:43,879
So that's all
hydraulically lifted?
1321
01:00:44,004 --> 01:00:44,921
It's all hydraulic.
1322
01:00:45,046 --> 01:00:47,129
When we get ready
to move the trailer,
1323
01:00:47,254 --> 01:00:49,504
we go in and push
a couple of buttons
1324
01:00:49,629 --> 01:00:51,046
and that lifts right up.
1325
01:00:51,171 --> 01:00:53,546
You could eat
your dinner off that.
1326
01:00:53,671 --> 01:00:55,046
(Chuckles) "Scotty's Potties."
1327
01:00:55,171 --> 01:00:56,587
MAN: There's also
John's Johns.
1328
01:00:56,712 --> 01:00:59,421
There's a company in Australia
called "Henry the Turd".
1329
01:00:59,546 --> 01:01:01,421
Henry the Turd?
- Henry the Turd.
1330
01:01:01,546 --> 01:01:03,004
Oh, my God.
1331
01:01:06,629 --> 01:01:08,046
Have you been downstairs?
1332
01:01:08,171 --> 01:01:09,587
Downstairs? Oh, still?
1333
01:01:09,712 --> 01:01:12,046
Well, this joint is like
an expo lasagne -
1334
01:01:12,171 --> 01:01:13,629
there's layers and layers.
1335
01:01:13,754 --> 01:01:15,504
I'm serious.
- Oh, yeah?
1336
01:01:15,629 --> 01:01:17,796
So it's the same... Well,
I'm going down there now.
1337
01:01:17,921 --> 01:01:20,129
If you want, you can follow me,
it's right underneath us.
1338
01:01:20,254 --> 01:01:21,796
Do you wanna follow...?
Yeah, grab your mates.
1339
01:01:21,921 --> 01:01:23,754
'Cause I'm walking
down there anyway.
1340
01:01:23,879 --> 01:01:25,171
How are you going, mate?
1341
01:01:25,296 --> 01:01:26,587
Kenny from Australia.
Hey, mate.
1342
01:01:26,712 --> 01:01:28,754
So, what brings you guys here? What
brings you...?
1343
01:01:28,879 --> 01:01:30,587
We're having
the World Expo next year,
1344
01:01:30,712 --> 01:01:34,587
and just looking for
the luxury toilets for that event.
1345
01:01:34,712 --> 01:01:37,212
Oh, OK, like with all the
good taps, all the good basins
1346
01:01:37,337 --> 01:01:38,754
and the televisions,
and all that sort of...
1347
01:01:38,879 --> 01:01:40,296
Televisions?
1348
01:01:40,421 --> 01:01:42,629
Yeah, well, obviously
all the good stuff you want in it.
1349
01:01:42,754 --> 01:01:44,546
Whatever you're looking for,
you'll find it here, mate.
1350
01:01:44,671 --> 01:01:46,087
They've got everything.
Right.
1351
01:01:46,212 --> 01:01:47,629
That's fantastic.
1352
01:01:47,754 --> 01:01:49,879
It's on wheels.
Fits in a freight elevator.
1353
01:01:50,004 --> 01:01:51,962
You can be taking a...
going to the bathroom,
1354
01:01:52,087 --> 01:01:53,879
and the guy can be pissing
in the back.
1355
01:01:54,004 --> 01:01:55,962
Oh, look at this.
You can be taking a piss.
1356
01:01:56,087 --> 01:01:57,962
While watching the other
guy taking a shit.
1357
01:01:58,087 --> 01:01:59,712
(Laughs)
What you doing down there?
1358
01:01:59,837 --> 01:02:01,754
You guys have a convention
like this in Australia?
1359
01:02:01,879 --> 01:02:03,462
No, mate, we got nothing.
Not like this.
1360
01:02:03,587 --> 01:02:05,296
If you're talking about beer,
1361
01:02:05,421 --> 01:02:07,129
there's a convention
every afternoon.
1362
01:02:07,254 --> 01:02:08,587
(Man laughs)
1363
01:02:10,921 --> 01:02:13,587
(Mutters) I see, they've got
a spring that goes into the...
1364
01:02:13,671 --> 01:02:15,254
How do they get that
to go in...?
1365
01:02:28,046 --> 01:02:29,587
(Crowd chants) Who?!
WOMAN: Why?
1366
01:02:29,712 --> 01:02:31,129
(Crowd chants) Why?!
1367
01:02:31,254 --> 01:02:33,004
When?!
1368
01:02:33,129 --> 01:02:34,712
Why?!
1369
01:02:34,837 --> 01:02:36,462
MAN: That was great!
1370
01:02:36,587 --> 01:02:38,129
Wow!
1371
01:02:38,254 --> 01:02:40,254
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
Robin Crow.
1372
01:02:42,837 --> 01:02:45,879
(Plays jangly guitar music)
1373
01:02:55,796 --> 01:02:58,587
(Sings) ♪ It's a natural reaction
1374
01:02:58,712 --> 01:03:01,462
♪ Wanting to make
those quantum leaps
1375
01:03:01,587 --> 01:03:04,254
♪ But I'm not afraid
to jump off that ledge
1376
01:03:04,379 --> 01:03:06,337
♪ I'm not afraid
to dive in deep. ♪
1377
01:03:10,087 --> 01:03:11,504
Thank you.
1378
01:03:11,629 --> 01:03:13,712
(APPLAUSE)
1379
01:03:16,587 --> 01:03:19,379
That was all very impressive,
wasn't it?
1380
01:03:19,504 --> 01:03:22,212
Very... very advanced,
I thought, the information.
1381
01:03:22,337 --> 01:03:23,754
Very futuristic.
1382
01:03:23,879 --> 01:03:25,504
He was talking about
the 'aloominum' pipes,
1383
01:03:25,629 --> 01:03:26,629
at one point.
1384
01:03:26,754 --> 01:03:28,171
I spent that long
trying to figure out
1385
01:03:28,296 --> 01:03:29,212
what 'aloominum' was
1386
01:03:29,337 --> 01:03:31,712
that I missed out what the point was of
fixing the pipe,
1387
01:03:31,837 --> 01:03:33,296
but some good information there, I
think.
1388
01:03:33,421 --> 01:03:36,546
I think I'll be able to use some
of that in dealing with people.
1389
01:03:36,671 --> 01:03:39,004
And I got a certificate,
1390
01:03:39,129 --> 01:03:41,796
attendance recognition certificate.
1391
01:03:41,921 --> 01:03:43,379
It's not bad, is it?
1392
01:04:01,046 --> 01:04:05,087
Yes, could I be put through
to room 176, please?
1393
01:04:07,212 --> 01:04:08,671
Yeah, Jackie, it's Kenny.
1394
01:04:09,796 --> 01:04:11,879
Yeah, good.
1395
01:04:12,004 --> 01:04:13,462
Yes.
1396
01:04:13,587 --> 01:04:15,087
Yeah, on... on the card?
1397
01:04:16,296 --> 01:04:17,879
Yes. (Chuckles)
1398
01:04:18,004 --> 01:04:20,046
Yourself?
1399
01:04:20,171 --> 01:04:22,212
Oh, fantastic.
1400
01:04:22,337 --> 01:04:24,546
How long for?
1401
01:04:24,671 --> 01:04:26,921
Yeah, love to!
1402
01:04:27,046 --> 01:04:28,879
Yeah, well, I've only just
come into my room
1403
01:04:29,004 --> 01:04:30,671
so I've just gotta
spruce meself up
1404
01:04:30,796 --> 01:04:32,671
with a bit of cut and polish.
1405
01:04:32,796 --> 01:04:35,004
There's a couple of hours
in that!
1406
01:04:35,129 --> 01:04:37,546
What's that? On a horse?
1407
01:04:37,671 --> 01:04:40,004
Oh, OK. (Chuckles) Yeah.
1408
01:04:40,129 --> 01:04:43,212
Alright, well, I'll see you
in... at the Wildhorse.
1409
01:04:49,379 --> 01:04:51,337
Well, this is definitely it.
1410
01:04:51,462 --> 01:04:54,921
That's the Wildhorse.
I just asked the security bloke.
1411
01:04:56,046 --> 01:04:59,046
This all feels a bit... bit silly.
1412
01:04:59,171 --> 01:05:00,754
I mean, I've got
nothing to wear.
1413
01:05:00,879 --> 01:05:02,712
I didn't know we were
gonna be going out.
1414
01:05:02,837 --> 01:05:04,254
This is a dance club
or something.
1415
01:05:04,379 --> 01:05:06,962
They do linedancing
or something in there.
1416
01:05:07,087 --> 01:05:09,379
And, you know, I...
1417
01:05:09,504 --> 01:05:12,504
...I can't help but think
she thinks I'm rich.
1418
01:05:12,629 --> 01:05:15,171
You know, she met me
in business class, you know.
1419
01:05:15,296 --> 01:05:17,337
She probably thinks I'm loaded.
1420
01:05:17,462 --> 01:05:19,712
And it was all because I'm
bloody sitting in Glenn's seat.
1421
01:05:19,837 --> 01:05:21,504
I'm filling in for him.
1422
01:05:21,629 --> 01:05:24,546
Anyway, I promised I'd meet her.
1423
01:05:26,587 --> 01:05:31,087
(Man sings) ♪ I got my own problems,
baby
1424
01:05:31,212 --> 01:05:35,129
♪ Tell somebody else, baby
1425
01:05:35,254 --> 01:05:39,129
♪ I got my own problems, baby
1426
01:05:39,254 --> 01:05:42,796
♪ Tell somebody else, baby... ♪
1427
01:06:11,754 --> 01:06:13,671
Whoops! Here's our chance.
1428
01:06:13,796 --> 01:06:15,212
JACKIE: That's fantastic.
1429
01:06:15,337 --> 01:06:17,087
You know that guy
Randy Travis, the singer?
1430
01:06:17,212 --> 01:06:18,629
Yeah, yeah, the country singer, yeah.
1431
01:06:18,754 --> 01:06:20,254
He started as a dishwasher here
1432
01:06:20,379 --> 01:06:23,046
and his first pay cheque
is in a frame on that wall.
1433
01:06:23,129 --> 01:06:24,921
Oh, you're kidding!
Nuh.
1434
01:06:25,046 --> 01:06:26,962
Isn't that fantastic?
It's amazing.
1435
01:06:27,087 --> 01:06:28,587
And Gorbachev, he was here.
1436
01:06:28,712 --> 01:06:31,046
He was a country singer?
- No, he's not a country singer!
1437
01:06:31,171 --> 01:06:32,754
Oh, he's the guy
from Russia. I know.
1438
01:06:32,879 --> 01:06:34,712
But all sorts of people,
all sorts of country...
1439
01:06:34,837 --> 01:06:37,212
If you stay here long enough...
- You get to see them.
1440
01:06:37,337 --> 01:06:39,837
It's a different world, isn't it?
It's a different place.
1441
01:06:39,962 --> 01:06:42,171
Look at the size of these ribs!
(Laughs) - It's huge!
1442
01:06:42,296 --> 01:06:44,337
No wonder they know what
they're doing with their toilets.
1443
01:06:44,462 --> 01:06:45,379
Look at the size of that.
1444
01:06:45,504 --> 01:06:47,379
They must give their
toilets a flogging over here.
1445
01:06:47,504 --> 01:06:49,087
That's why they're experts in it.
1446
01:06:50,212 --> 01:06:52,504
I'm sorry - I just realised
I always talk about
1447
01:06:52,629 --> 01:06:54,587
working with toilets
and poo and stuff
1448
01:06:54,712 --> 01:06:56,462
and it's only because
it's what I do.
1449
01:06:56,587 --> 01:06:58,004
No, that's fine.
- I'm used to it.
1450
01:06:58,129 --> 01:06:59,837
Don't worry.
Don't worry, it's fine.
1451
01:06:59,962 --> 01:07:01,796
I mean, I do the same thing,
you know?
1452
01:07:01,921 --> 01:07:03,337
What? You don't...
1453
01:07:03,462 --> 01:07:05,879
I do the same thing,
but 30,000 feet up in the air.
1454
01:07:06,004 --> 01:07:07,629
You have to clean the toilets?
Yeah.
1455
01:07:07,754 --> 01:07:09,712
Really?
Yeah, absolutely.
1456
01:07:09,837 --> 01:07:12,337
This guy in first class
had gone to the bathroom,
1457
01:07:12,462 --> 01:07:14,296
flushed the toilet,
1458
01:07:14,421 --> 01:07:16,629
put the vacuum - I don't know,
for whatever reason -
1459
01:07:16,754 --> 01:07:17,879
reverse cycled.
1460
01:07:18,004 --> 01:07:21,212
He came out covered head to toe.
1461
01:07:21,337 --> 01:07:22,837
Oh, you're kidding.
No.
1462
01:07:22,962 --> 01:07:24,379
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
It's alright.
1463
01:07:24,504 --> 01:07:26,421
Hello?
1464
01:07:27,671 --> 01:07:29,462
Oh, hello.
1465
01:07:29,587 --> 01:07:32,379
I mean, if you can't control him from the
lounge room,
1466
01:07:32,504 --> 01:07:35,212
how am I supposed to do it
from Nashville, Tennessee?
1467
01:07:36,671 --> 01:07:40,129
Yeah, well...
Well, pop him on the phone.
1468
01:07:40,254 --> 01:07:42,337
G'day, mate.
1469
01:07:42,462 --> 01:07:43,879
It's my boy.
1470
01:07:44,004 --> 01:07:45,546
How you doing?
1471
01:07:45,671 --> 01:07:48,046
I'm good, mate. I'm fantastic.
1472
01:07:49,171 --> 01:07:50,754
And a what?
1473
01:07:50,879 --> 01:07:53,129
Yeah, well, you might want
to just hold it there, mate,
1474
01:07:53,254 --> 01:07:54,671
'cause that's a fair bit.
1475
01:07:54,796 --> 01:07:56,796
I don't know
if I'll fit it on the plane.
1476
01:07:56,921 --> 01:07:57,879
We'll have to hire
another plane!
1477
01:07:58,004 --> 01:07:59,462
Yeah, and behave yourself,
will you?
1478
01:07:59,587 --> 01:08:03,212
Don't... Don't upset
your mum too much.
1479
01:08:03,337 --> 01:08:05,212
Alright. Love you, mate.
1480
01:08:05,337 --> 01:08:08,337
That's me ex-wife
that rung me up.
1481
01:08:08,462 --> 01:08:09,962
She's something else.
1482
01:08:10,087 --> 01:08:13,004
She is the chief commissioner
and senior sergeant
1483
01:08:13,129 --> 01:08:14,546
of the fun police.
1484
01:08:14,671 --> 01:08:17,962
She's here to outlaw fun altogether.
There's your pad.
1485
01:08:18,087 --> 01:08:19,546
Thanks for that.
- Thank you.
1486
01:08:19,671 --> 01:08:22,337
Every time, every time
without fail
1487
01:08:22,421 --> 01:08:24,754
that I'm having a good time,
or I'm enjoying myself,
1488
01:08:24,879 --> 01:08:27,087
or I'm not at work
and I'm just calming down,
1489
01:08:27,212 --> 01:08:28,712
or like I'm here, she rings.
1490
01:08:28,837 --> 01:08:31,254
Well, glad you're having
a good time.
1491
01:08:31,379 --> 01:08:32,962
I am having a good time.
- Yeah.
1492
01:08:33,087 --> 01:08:35,129
Don't say that out loud
'cause she'll ring again.
1493
01:08:35,254 --> 01:08:37,671
(Laughs)
She knows.
1494
01:08:37,796 --> 01:08:40,171
Now, I've got a small confession to
make.
1495
01:08:40,296 --> 01:08:41,212
Oh, really?
1496
01:08:41,337 --> 01:08:43,671
Yeah, a bit of an apology
or a confession.
1497
01:08:43,796 --> 01:08:46,212
I'd never been on an aeroplane
or seen the toilets on them
1498
01:08:46,337 --> 01:08:48,337
so I wanted to know
how it worked.
1499
01:08:48,462 --> 01:08:51,587
So I pulled the lid
off the back of it
1500
01:08:51,712 --> 01:08:54,712
and I left one of the clips off.
1501
01:08:54,837 --> 01:08:55,754
Are you serious?
1502
01:08:55,879 --> 01:08:57,837
And I didn't put
the thing back on.
1503
01:08:57,962 --> 01:08:59,379
(Laughs)
So, sorry.
1504
01:08:59,504 --> 01:09:00,921
It's working now, isn't it?
1505
01:09:01,046 --> 01:09:03,629
I got it fixed, didn't I?
- Yeah, it's fine, it's fine.
1506
01:09:03,754 --> 01:09:05,462
Anyway, let's not...
- Oh, God.
1507
01:09:05,587 --> 01:09:07,629
It works now. You should eat.
- Yeah, I will.
1508
01:09:07,754 --> 01:09:09,171
Before your meal gets warm,
1509
01:09:09,296 --> 01:09:10,712
and I should
before mine gets cold.
1510
01:09:10,837 --> 01:09:12,254
Look at the size of this thing.
1511
01:09:12,379 --> 01:09:14,462
No wonder there's no longer
dinosaurs on the earth.
1512
01:09:14,587 --> 01:09:17,087
They've killed the last one.
Here it is on me plate!
1513
01:09:20,504 --> 01:09:22,796
There you go, Jackie.
Watch the gutter there.
1514
01:09:22,921 --> 01:09:24,712
Watch your step. You right?
- Oh, thanks, Kenny.
1515
01:09:24,837 --> 01:09:26,254
Just watch it there, Jackie.
- Thank you.
1516
01:09:26,379 --> 01:09:27,962
Don't slip over. I'd hate that.
- Ooh!
1517
01:09:28,087 --> 01:09:29,546
Alright, well,
I'll see you later, then.
1518
01:09:29,671 --> 01:09:32,421
Oh, thanks. Hey, listen, do you
want a lift? It's pouring rain.
1519
01:09:32,546 --> 01:09:34,587
No, it's fine, I'm only just...
- I'll take you somewhere.
1520
01:09:34,712 --> 01:09:36,504
No, I'm only a couple of blocks
from here.
1521
01:09:36,629 --> 01:09:37,546
I don't mind walking.
1522
01:09:37,671 --> 01:09:39,337
Are you sure?
- Yeah, I love the rain.
1523
01:09:39,462 --> 01:09:41,129
I honestly do.
- You're crazy.
1524
01:09:41,254 --> 01:09:43,171
(Laughs) I'll see you later.
- Hey, listen.
1525
01:09:43,296 --> 01:09:44,712
You know, I've got tomorrow off
1526
01:09:44,837 --> 01:09:47,087
so maybe I could help you
shop for your son.
1527
01:09:47,212 --> 01:09:48,796
Yeah.
- I could show you Nashville.
1528
01:09:48,921 --> 01:09:50,671
Alright, well,
I've got a deal for you.
1529
01:09:50,796 --> 01:09:52,212
You show me round Nashville
1530
01:09:52,337 --> 01:09:53,754
and I'll show you round the expo
1531
01:09:53,879 --> 01:09:55,629
so you can see
what I do for a job.
1532
01:09:55,754 --> 01:09:57,337
OK, that's a good deal.
- Wanna do that?
1533
01:09:57,462 --> 01:09:58,879
I'd love to.
- Oh, that'd be great.
1534
01:09:59,004 --> 01:10:01,504
Well, we'll meet, say,
9:30 at the front, yeah?
1535
01:10:01,629 --> 01:10:03,087
Yep, 9:30 at the front.
- Alright.
1536
01:10:03,212 --> 01:10:04,629
OK.
- That's perfect.
1537
01:10:04,754 --> 01:10:07,129
Put your belt on. You'll get
yourself in trouble. You right?
1538
01:10:09,129 --> 01:10:10,587
She's a nice girl, isn't she?
1539
01:10:12,629 --> 01:10:15,462
Looks like I'm gonna have
half a day off!
1540
01:10:15,587 --> 01:10:17,421
Which would be good.
1541
01:10:17,546 --> 01:10:19,296
Good on her.
1542
01:10:19,421 --> 01:10:22,587
(Laughs incredulously)
1543
01:10:23,962 --> 01:10:25,421
Good on her.
1544
01:10:44,712 --> 01:10:47,004
You know, it must be
very difficult for Jackie
1545
01:10:47,129 --> 01:10:48,879
to do a job like she does,
1546
01:10:49,004 --> 01:10:51,004
you know,
flying around in the air
1547
01:10:51,129 --> 01:10:52,796
in a tube full of strangers,
1548
01:10:52,921 --> 01:10:54,462
lob in countries
with people you don't know.
1549
01:10:54,587 --> 01:10:57,962
You know, it sounds very glamorous
but I'm sure it's not.
1550
01:10:58,087 --> 01:11:00,921
You know, and even I've found
since I've been over here
1551
01:11:01,046 --> 01:11:04,004
that you see things that
make about as much sense
1552
01:11:04,129 --> 01:11:06,379
as a nun at a rock concert,
you know.
1553
01:11:06,504 --> 01:11:09,212
And sometimes you just want to turn to
someone from home
1554
01:11:09,337 --> 01:11:12,462
and say, "Did you understand
what he's talking about?"
1555
01:11:12,587 --> 01:11:14,004
I mean, has someone
rung the Queen
1556
01:11:14,129 --> 01:11:16,421
and let her know what they're doing
with her language?
1557
01:11:33,379 --> 01:11:34,296
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
1558
01:11:34,421 --> 01:11:36,421
put your hands together
for the next bullfighter!
1559
01:11:39,462 --> 01:11:41,837
This is the way we do it
in Nashville, Tennessee...
1560
01:11:43,504 --> 01:11:45,254
There you go.
- Ooh. Look at this guy.
1561
01:11:45,379 --> 01:11:47,212
...show up, drink shots
and have fun.
1562
01:11:50,796 --> 01:11:52,212
Hey.
1563
01:11:52,337 --> 01:11:54,129
I reckon I know who that guy is.
1564
01:11:54,254 --> 01:11:56,337
Serious. I met him yesterday.
1565
01:11:56,462 --> 01:11:57,796
Like, he's not a mate.
1566
01:11:57,921 --> 01:11:59,296
I met him.
He's a Japanese businessman.
1567
01:12:02,546 --> 01:12:04,212
MAN: Go, boy! Hee-hoo!
1568
01:12:04,337 --> 01:12:06,296
You would not get me
on that thing
1569
01:12:06,421 --> 01:12:07,837
for all the money in China.
1570
01:12:07,962 --> 01:12:09,421
Or Japan.
1571
01:12:15,129 --> 01:12:18,337
MAN: 20! Whoa! Whoa, there!
1572
01:12:19,921 --> 01:12:20,921
(Laughs)
1573
01:12:21,046 --> 01:12:23,712
Mate, you looked fantastic in there. That
was a pretty big fall.
1574
01:12:23,796 --> 01:12:25,212
You looked like
the bloody Sushi Cowboy
1575
01:12:25,337 --> 01:12:26,421
up there on the bull.
1576
01:12:26,546 --> 01:12:29,004
(Laughs) Sushi Cowboy.
- Sushi Cowboy.
1577
01:12:29,129 --> 01:12:30,712
It's not that great, man.
1578
01:12:30,837 --> 01:12:32,462
Where's all your mates?
Where's all your buddies?
1579
01:12:32,587 --> 01:12:35,129
Oh, they're at Hooters,
you know, with the big, big...
1580
01:12:35,254 --> 01:12:36,962
Oh, hello. Bing bong.
Yes.
1581
01:12:37,087 --> 01:12:39,296
But you guys go ahead, so...
1582
01:12:39,421 --> 01:12:41,171
I go back to the hotel.
1583
01:12:41,296 --> 01:12:44,254
Oh, there's no need for you
to go back to the hotel, mate.
1584
01:12:44,379 --> 01:12:47,212
Don't let a bloody sore leg and
a bad back stand in the way
1585
01:12:47,337 --> 01:12:48,337
of a good night.
1586
01:12:48,462 --> 01:12:50,879
You can stay with us, if
you want. We've got no plans.
1587
01:12:51,004 --> 01:12:53,087
What do you want to do?
1588
01:12:54,504 --> 01:12:56,962
MAN: Give it up for
the Sushi Cowboy!
1589
01:12:57,087 --> 01:12:59,504
(Sings) ♪ I...
1590
01:12:59,629 --> 01:13:01,504
♪ Once was lost... ♪
1591
01:13:04,254 --> 01:13:06,129
♪ I'm found
1592
01:13:06,254 --> 01:13:09,629
♪ I once was blind
1593
01:13:09,754 --> 01:13:16,004
♪ But now I see... ♪
1594
01:13:16,129 --> 01:13:19,046
(CHEERING)
1595
01:13:19,171 --> 01:13:21,587
Hello, Nashville!
MAN: Sushi Cowboy!
1596
01:13:21,712 --> 01:13:24,754
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
1597
01:13:27,462 --> 01:13:29,546
He's had a pretty big night,
hasn't he?
1598
01:13:29,671 --> 01:13:31,629
He sure has.
His bull-riding days are over.
1599
01:13:31,754 --> 01:13:33,212
(Laughs)
1600
01:13:39,087 --> 01:13:40,421
What time do you fly out tomorrow?
1601
01:13:40,546 --> 01:13:41,462
3:30.
1602
01:13:41,587 --> 01:13:43,921
Oh, OK, so pretty early.
Yeah.
1603
01:13:44,046 --> 01:13:45,754
Sorry, I'll get your lift.
1604
01:13:45,879 --> 01:13:47,462
Well, thanks
for inviting me out tonight.
1605
01:13:47,587 --> 01:13:49,046
I had a ball, Jackie, I real...
1606
01:13:49,171 --> 01:13:50,587
Did you?
- I honestly did. I did.
1607
01:13:50,712 --> 01:13:52,546
Oh, good. I'm glad you came.
It was fun.
1608
01:13:52,671 --> 01:13:55,087
Yeah, so am I. Here's your lift.
- Oh, thanks.
1609
01:13:55,212 --> 01:13:58,087
Well, um, do you want to
go up to the bar?
1610
01:13:58,212 --> 01:13:59,629
I...
A drink or something?
1611
01:13:59,754 --> 01:14:02,129
I'd love to, Jackie,
but I really should...
1612
01:14:02,254 --> 01:14:04,296
I mean, the bar's open
for another hour.
1613
01:14:04,421 --> 01:14:06,046
Yeah, I would,
but the meter's running
1614
01:14:06,171 --> 01:14:09,254
and I better get the Sushi Cowboy back
home safe.
1615
01:14:09,379 --> 01:14:11,462
He's off with the fairies, so...
- OK.
1616
01:14:11,587 --> 01:14:13,921
But, look, tomorrow,
if you're free tomorrow,
1617
01:14:14,046 --> 01:14:15,879
I'd love to see you
before you go.
1618
01:14:16,004 --> 01:14:17,337
That would be great.
1619
01:14:17,462 --> 01:14:18,879
Have a coffee
at the bar at midday?
1620
01:14:19,004 --> 01:14:19,921
I'd love that.
1621
01:14:20,046 --> 01:14:21,837
That'd be really fun.
- Well, I'll come back tomorrow.
1622
01:14:21,962 --> 01:14:23,796
OK.
Yeah? Just watch out.
1623
01:14:23,921 --> 01:14:27,004
That lift is gonna snap you like
a twig if it closes on your chest.
1624
01:14:27,129 --> 01:14:28,046
OK.
1625
01:14:28,171 --> 01:14:29,337
You're right to get
to your room?
1626
01:14:29,462 --> 01:14:30,879
Yeah.
- Alright.
1627
01:14:31,004 --> 01:14:32,796
Well, thanks for a good night.
I had fun.
1628
01:14:32,921 --> 01:14:34,462
OK. 'Night.
- Alright. Take care, Jackie.
1629
01:14:34,587 --> 01:14:36,046
'Bye, Kenny.
- See you. 'Bye.
1630
01:14:43,462 --> 01:14:46,462
(Both laugh)
1631
01:14:46,587 --> 01:14:49,796
Yeah, mate, that goes into
Ned Kelly's helmet there.
1632
01:14:49,921 --> 01:14:51,629
Right.
- Oh. Right, I see.
1633
01:14:51,754 --> 01:14:53,504
There you go. You're in now.
Good.
1634
01:14:53,629 --> 01:14:55,629
Thanks for a great night, mate.
- Thank you very much.
1635
01:14:55,754 --> 01:14:57,462
I'm really sorry
to mess up the night.
1636
01:14:57,587 --> 01:14:59,837
No, you didn't mess it up.
- You and your lady.
1637
01:14:59,962 --> 01:15:01,296
I'm sorry.
- No, it's all good.
1638
01:15:01,421 --> 01:15:02,712
But I had a good time.
1639
01:15:02,837 --> 01:15:04,587
Thank you.
- Me too. See you at the expo.
1640
01:15:04,712 --> 01:15:06,504
Maybe tomorrow morning... (Coughs)
1641
01:15:06,629 --> 01:15:09,171
...tomorrow morning
you could show me
1642
01:15:09,296 --> 01:15:11,421
where the TV toilets are.
1643
01:15:11,546 --> 01:15:13,337
Oh, I don't know
if they've got any here.
1644
01:15:13,587 --> 01:15:16,171
Well, I mentioned them
because we make them.
1645
01:15:16,296 --> 01:15:18,087
You make them?
- Yeah.
1646
01:15:18,212 --> 01:15:19,921
Oh, really?
- Fair dinkum.
1647
01:15:21,796 --> 01:15:23,754
Yeah, Glenn, it's me.
1648
01:15:23,837 --> 01:15:25,921
Yeah, look, I've gotta be quick.
1649
01:15:26,046 --> 01:15:29,254
I'm in a meeting with
some Japanese gentlemen
1650
01:15:29,379 --> 01:15:31,754
that I've met here at the expo
1651
01:15:31,879 --> 01:15:34,796
and what they wanted to do
is get a quote
1652
01:15:34,921 --> 01:15:38,962
on buying some of our
20-foot combo units,
1653
01:15:39,087 --> 01:15:43,337
the VIP 20-foot blocks
with the televisions in them.
1654
01:15:43,462 --> 01:15:46,587
But they want a price on them
really quickly
1655
01:15:46,712 --> 01:15:49,379
to buy about six or seven units,
1656
01:15:49,504 --> 01:15:51,379
as in the full blocks.
1657
01:15:51,504 --> 01:15:53,129
Yep. Hang on a sec, Glenn.
1658
01:15:53,254 --> 01:15:54,671
67.
- What?
1659
01:15:54,796 --> 01:15:57,004
It's not "six or seven",
it's sixty-seven.
1660
01:15:57,129 --> 01:15:58,754
Sixty-sev... You're shitting me,
aren't you?
1661
01:15:58,879 --> 01:16:02,587
No, serious. - 67...
- 67 full 20-foot blocks?
1662
01:16:02,712 --> 01:16:03,796
Units.
Units.
1663
01:16:03,921 --> 01:16:05,379
They want 67 of them.
1664
01:16:06,546 --> 01:16:08,129
No, he's as serious
as a heart attack.
1665
01:16:08,254 --> 01:16:09,837
No, I'm here with him now.
1666
01:16:09,962 --> 01:16:11,962
Also, we'd like to get a price.
- A price.
1667
01:16:12,087 --> 01:16:14,337
In one hour.
- One hour. In an hour.
1668
01:16:14,462 --> 01:16:15,879
No, he's fair dinkum.
1669
01:16:16,004 --> 01:16:19,296
Yeah, 67 units, but we need
the price in an hour.
1670
01:16:19,421 --> 01:16:21,546
And Mr Sato is coming.
- Yeah, I know.
1671
01:16:21,671 --> 01:16:23,879
I know I called him, you know,
a freaked-out bastard,
1672
01:16:24,004 --> 01:16:27,421
but he's a bastard
to me only, not to you.
1673
01:16:27,546 --> 01:16:28,712
Right.
1674
01:16:28,837 --> 01:16:30,254
See? So just
speak to him directly.
1675
01:16:30,379 --> 01:16:32,046
Right, talk to him.
- Into his eyes.
1676
01:16:32,171 --> 01:16:33,629
OK.
- You talk to him.
1677
01:16:33,754 --> 01:16:36,587
And I will translate because
he doesn't speak any English.
1678
01:16:36,712 --> 01:16:38,462
He doesn't speak any English?
- No, no, no.
1679
01:16:38,587 --> 01:16:41,087
So just speak to him
and I'll translate.
1680
01:16:41,212 --> 01:16:42,837
Oh, you'll translate.
I know what you're saying.
1681
01:16:42,962 --> 01:16:44,379
Be yourself.
- Yeah, I will.
1682
01:16:44,504 --> 01:16:46,337
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
Hang on a tick.
1683
01:16:46,462 --> 01:16:47,879
Answer this.
- Yeah, I will, yeah.
1684
01:16:48,004 --> 01:16:50,004
This could be Glenn now.
- Oh, yeah, check the price.
1685
01:16:50,129 --> 01:16:52,379
Yeah, I will, absolutely.
Hello? Glenn?
1686
01:16:52,504 --> 01:16:53,546
Sorry, Takashi.
1687
01:16:53,671 --> 01:16:55,087
I can't hear you, mate.
Speak up.
1688
01:16:55,212 --> 01:16:57,254
Oh, g'day, mate. Yeah, good.
1689
01:16:57,379 --> 01:16:58,962
Look, Dave,
I can't talk now, mate.
1690
01:16:59,087 --> 01:17:03,462
I'm in the mid... Yeah, hang on,
I'm in the middle of a... Yep.
1691
01:17:03,587 --> 01:17:05,046
When did that happen?
1692
01:17:06,712 --> 01:17:08,337
Yeah.
1693
01:17:08,462 --> 01:17:10,754
Well, is he...? Are you
with him now? Is he alright?
1694
01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:14,837
Right.
1695
01:17:14,962 --> 01:17:17,837
Well, what do the doctors say?
What do...?
1696
01:17:17,962 --> 01:17:19,921
Well, yeah, hang on, don't...
1697
01:17:21,712 --> 01:17:23,129
Well, can you ring me
straight back
1698
01:17:23,254 --> 01:17:24,421
when you've spoken
to the doctors?
1699
01:17:24,546 --> 01:17:27,879
Yeah. Alright, yeah,
but ring me back so I... Yeah.
1700
01:17:34,837 --> 01:17:37,337
Everything's alright. Take care of your
dad, you know.
1701
01:17:37,462 --> 01:17:38,879
Yeah.
- I'll speak with Glenn.
1702
01:17:39,004 --> 01:17:40,837
Yeah, you can speak to him?
- Oh, yeah.
1703
01:17:40,962 --> 01:17:43,212
I'm so sorry, mate.
- That's... That's alright.
1704
01:17:43,337 --> 01:17:44,754
Alright, mate, well,
I'll speak to you
1705
01:17:44,879 --> 01:17:46,046
when I get back to Australia.
1706
01:17:46,171 --> 01:17:47,212
Right.
- Alright, thank you.
1707
01:17:47,337 --> 01:17:48,421
See you, mate.
1708
01:17:50,796 --> 01:17:52,421
Better get my belt on. See you!
1709
01:17:54,629 --> 01:17:57,962
Just to the airport, mate.
1710
01:17:58,087 --> 01:18:00,129
The international.
1711
01:18:00,254 --> 01:18:02,712
Yeah, well, I'm supposed to be
meeting her at the bar.
1712
01:18:02,837 --> 01:18:04,296
Well, she's an airline steward
1713
01:18:04,421 --> 01:18:06,546
so she'll be dressed
in a uniform.
1714
01:18:06,671 --> 01:18:10,004
Well... Yeah, well, I actually don't know
her surname.
1715
01:18:10,129 --> 01:18:13,004
My father's very ill, so I...
Actually, don't tell her that,
1716
01:18:13,129 --> 01:18:16,629
Just tell her I'm really,
really sorry that I can't make it.
1717
01:18:27,254 --> 01:18:29,337
MAN: He's stable.
His obs are looking good.
1718
01:18:29,462 --> 01:18:33,171
The doctor should be in to talk
to you in a bit, but he's, um...
1719
01:18:33,296 --> 01:18:34,712
See, he's medicated
at the moment
1720
01:18:34,837 --> 01:18:36,754
and obviously exhausted
1721
01:18:36,879 --> 01:18:38,296
but he's not in any pain.
1722
01:18:38,421 --> 01:18:41,212
He's on a list for an operation
on Tuesday morning.
1723
01:18:41,337 --> 01:18:43,171
OK.
- So you can come back in...
1724
01:18:43,296 --> 01:18:44,254
When I rang the hospital
1725
01:18:44,379 --> 01:18:46,171
they said it was
a bleeding ulcer or something.
1726
01:18:46,296 --> 01:18:47,712
And so that's all it is?
1727
01:18:47,837 --> 01:18:50,087
If you're gonna talk about me,
at least talk to me.
1728
01:18:50,212 --> 01:18:53,296
I'm awake.
I'm not bloody dead, you know.
1729
01:18:53,421 --> 01:18:55,671
How are you, mate?
- Oh, how do you reckon I am?
1730
01:18:55,796 --> 01:18:58,337
Stuck in this shithole.
1731
01:18:58,462 --> 01:19:00,921
Where...?
Where have you been?
1732
01:19:01,046 --> 01:19:02,754
I got here as soon as I could.
1733
01:19:02,879 --> 01:19:05,171
I've come straight
from the airport.
1734
01:19:05,296 --> 01:19:06,962
Am I in your way here?
- No.
1735
01:19:07,087 --> 01:19:10,087
Ah. I mean, 70 years of age,
and wouldn't you know,
1736
01:19:10,212 --> 01:19:14,212
these pretty little things
like this girl here walking round
1737
01:19:14,337 --> 01:19:16,587
and I've been saddled
with Daisy here.
1738
01:19:16,712 --> 01:19:18,962
Bloody tailgater.
1739
01:19:19,087 --> 01:19:20,504
He's a nurse, Dad.
1740
01:19:20,629 --> 01:19:23,296
You haven't used your pan.
- I don't intend to use it, either.
1741
01:19:23,421 --> 01:19:25,212
There's no way known
I'm gonna use that.
1742
01:19:25,337 --> 01:19:28,212
You can shove it up your own arse. I'm
not putting it up mine.
1743
01:19:28,337 --> 01:19:29,754
Before you get
discharged tomorrow,
1744
01:19:29,879 --> 01:19:30,921
before your operation,
1745
01:19:31,046 --> 01:19:33,546
we need a stool to test
whether or not there's blood.
1746
01:19:33,671 --> 01:19:35,462
I'll give you one.
I'll give you a sample.
1747
01:19:35,587 --> 01:19:36,629
I'll give you one there
1748
01:19:36,754 --> 01:19:38,171
that Jack O'Toole
wouldn't chop through,
1749
01:19:38,296 --> 01:19:39,921
but I'm not doing it in that.
1750
01:19:40,046 --> 01:19:42,421
It's really quite simple.
See this?
1751
01:19:42,546 --> 01:19:44,046
Might be simple for you.
- See that?
1752
01:19:44,171 --> 01:19:46,337
It'd be like trying to put
marshmallow into a moneybox.
1753
01:19:46,462 --> 01:19:48,671
Now, I'm not gonna use it.
I'm telling you, son!
1754
01:19:48,796 --> 01:19:51,837
Alright, well, is it... is he OK
to go to the toilet if I take him?
1755
01:19:51,962 --> 01:19:53,421
Uh, if he would rather do that,
1756
01:19:53,546 --> 01:19:54,962
then, yeah, sure,
I can organise that.
1757
01:19:55,087 --> 01:19:56,962
But it's...
I need the stool in this tray.
1758
01:19:57,087 --> 01:19:59,296
OK. Alright.
I'll be back in a bit.
1759
01:19:59,421 --> 01:20:00,837
Nightmare, this.
- Yeah, well, it's not...
1760
01:20:00,962 --> 01:20:03,629
Don't be having a go at him.
He's the one looking after you.
1761
01:20:03,712 --> 01:20:06,046
Yeah, he's the one.
I'd rather HER look after me.
1762
01:20:06,171 --> 01:20:08,337
Yeah, well, it doesn't...
Look at her. Jesus Christ!
1763
01:20:08,462 --> 01:20:10,421
He wants me to bend over
in front of him.
1764
01:20:10,546 --> 01:20:11,462
Have you seen him?
1765
01:20:11,587 --> 01:20:13,879
It's not that he wants to see
your backside or something.
1766
01:20:14,004 --> 01:20:16,879
They need to get your stool sample,
your poo sample.
1767
01:20:17,004 --> 01:20:20,087
Christ Almighty,
I'm too old for this shit.
1768
01:20:20,212 --> 01:20:22,212
Bloody whinge.
That's all I get all day.
1769
01:20:22,337 --> 01:20:23,754
Whinge, whinge, whinge.
- Yeah.
1770
01:20:23,879 --> 01:20:26,046
Oh, get back on your camel.
1771
01:20:26,171 --> 01:20:28,879
Is that that bloody bastard
going again over there?
1772
01:20:29,004 --> 01:20:31,171
(Groans)
Must have disorder, mate.
1773
01:20:31,296 --> 01:20:34,504
Alright, you br... ba... bananas
1774
01:20:34,629 --> 01:20:36,504
or whatever you're
bloody talking about.
1775
01:20:36,629 --> 01:20:38,212
Dad. Dad.
- What?
1776
01:20:38,337 --> 01:20:40,546
This is not the place for it, Dad.
It's a hospital.
1777
01:20:40,671 --> 01:20:42,462
Now, keep your voice down.
They're sick too, alright?
1778
01:20:42,587 --> 01:20:44,796
Keep my voice down.
- Yeah, well, don't...
1779
01:20:44,921 --> 01:20:47,171
Supposed to be a bloody farmer. He's
got about 17 kids.
1780
01:20:47,296 --> 01:20:49,004
He hasn't had too much time picking
tomatoes,
1781
01:20:49,129 --> 01:20:50,379
I can tell you that.
1782
01:20:50,504 --> 01:20:53,462
Dad, they're sick too, so have
a bit of respect, alright?
1783
01:20:53,587 --> 01:20:55,087
Yeah, alright.
- Just a bit of respect.
1784
01:20:55,212 --> 01:20:57,212
Get all the nurses
and we'll move all this.
1785
01:21:01,421 --> 01:21:05,379
Bloody tubes up me nose
and up me arse.
1786
01:21:05,504 --> 01:21:07,921
Now they want bloody stools.
1787
01:21:08,046 --> 01:21:09,754
A man hasn't had
anything to eat.
1788
01:21:11,004 --> 01:21:12,421
I'm as thin as a bloody rake.
1789
01:21:12,546 --> 01:21:14,087
You can smell the shit
through me ribs.
1790
01:21:14,212 --> 01:21:16,212
They should take a sample there.
1791
01:21:19,004 --> 01:21:21,212
Nurse, that's the sample
for Mr Smyth.
1792
01:21:21,337 --> 01:21:23,212
Right. Great, thanks.
Alright, thanks.
1793
01:21:24,921 --> 01:21:26,337
You can't get this
medication for him.
1794
01:21:26,462 --> 01:21:27,587
He's got to get it himself.
1795
01:21:27,712 --> 01:21:29,671
He's gotta get it himself? OK.
- Yeah, it's very important.
1796
01:21:29,796 --> 01:21:31,879
That's not... not today.
I want to go today.
1797
01:21:32,004 --> 01:21:33,712
No tomorrow.
Forget tomorrow. Today!
1798
01:21:33,837 --> 01:21:36,504
No, we've gotta leave you here
on all the gear for the night
1799
01:21:36,587 --> 01:21:38,004
to keep a monitor on you,
1800
01:21:38,129 --> 01:21:39,671
and then the operation
is next week.
1801
01:21:39,796 --> 01:21:41,462
The operation is next week?
What operation?
1802
01:21:41,587 --> 01:21:43,129
They've got you on
a schedule next week.
1803
01:21:43,254 --> 01:21:44,671
The operation on
your bloody stomach!
1804
01:21:44,796 --> 01:21:45,712
No operation.
1805
01:21:45,837 --> 01:21:48,004
I'm not having an operation,
especially not in here.
1806
01:21:48,129 --> 01:21:49,837
You only hear about
the success rate, son,
1807
01:21:49,962 --> 01:21:51,379
you don't hear
about their failures,
1808
01:21:51,504 --> 01:21:53,754
about people getting crook
a week after an operation,
1809
01:21:53,879 --> 01:21:55,421
them opening them up
when it's too late
1810
01:21:55,546 --> 01:21:56,962
and they've got
a bloody cutlery set
1811
01:21:57,087 --> 01:21:58,212
or scissors inside them
1812
01:21:58,337 --> 01:22:00,379
that are left inside them
by people that are incompetent.
1813
01:22:00,504 --> 01:22:02,129
Dad, you've gotta have
the operation.
1814
01:22:02,254 --> 01:22:03,671
If you don't have the operation,
1815
01:22:03,796 --> 01:22:05,004
there really will be
some trouble.
1816
01:22:05,129 --> 01:22:06,546
Dad, you have to have
the operation.
1817
01:22:06,671 --> 01:22:07,921
You can't say no to that.
1818
01:22:08,046 --> 01:22:10,087
Oh, we'll worry about that
when it's supposed to happen,
1819
01:22:10,212 --> 01:22:12,171
but today,
I'm going out today, son.
1820
01:22:12,296 --> 01:22:14,421
No, well, Dad,
you can't go out today,
1821
01:22:14,546 --> 01:22:16,379
but, look, you've only got
one more night here
1822
01:22:16,504 --> 01:22:18,296
and, uh... and
we'll get you out of here
1823
01:22:18,421 --> 01:22:20,421
and I'll come back tomorrow
and I'll pick you up...
1824
01:22:20,546 --> 01:22:22,587
Wait on, wait on,
where are you going, boy?
1825
01:22:22,712 --> 01:22:24,129
Don't... You're not going.
1826
01:22:24,254 --> 01:22:25,796
Christ, you're not going. You...
1827
01:22:25,921 --> 01:22:29,379
And as far as me going home to my
place or your place
1828
01:22:29,504 --> 01:22:30,921
or anyone's, that's not on.
1829
01:22:31,046 --> 01:22:33,296
I want you to ring your brother
and ring him now.
1830
01:22:33,421 --> 01:22:35,379
There's a couple of things we've gotta
sort out
1831
01:22:35,504 --> 01:22:38,171
in our family
before I shuffle off.
1832
01:22:38,254 --> 01:22:40,921
I'm telling you now. But don't
you leave me in here to rot.
1833
01:22:41,046 --> 01:22:42,879
Alright, Dad.
- Leave me in a place like this.
1834
01:22:43,004 --> 01:22:45,212
You may as well leave me
in the bloody morgue.
1835
01:22:45,337 --> 01:22:46,962
They'll carry me
out of here feet first
1836
01:22:47,087 --> 01:22:48,254
if you leave me in here.
1837
01:22:48,379 --> 01:22:49,296
Alright.
1838
01:22:49,421 --> 01:22:51,796
Wouldn't do that to a dog,
let alone your father.
1839
01:22:51,921 --> 01:22:54,171
I'll go and ring him now.
- Go and ring him now.
1840
01:22:54,296 --> 01:22:56,129
I'll be back.
- You make sure you come back.
1841
01:22:56,254 --> 01:22:57,671
Make sure of it.
- I will, Dad.
1842
01:22:57,796 --> 01:23:00,546
Don't leave me here.
- I won't. I'll be back.
1843
01:23:12,504 --> 01:23:15,171
DAD: Jesus Christ.
This is bloody ridiculous.
1844
01:23:15,254 --> 01:23:17,504
Why didn't we bring your car
instead of this bloody thing.
1845
01:23:17,629 --> 01:23:19,837
I'm jammed in here
as tight as a fish's arse.
1846
01:23:19,962 --> 01:23:22,171
Well, Dad, the toilet
wasn't gonna fit in my car,
1847
01:23:22,296 --> 01:23:24,879
and it sure as hell wasn't
gonna fit in Dave's Mercedes.
1848
01:23:25,004 --> 01:23:26,421
I was only thinking of you.
1849
01:23:26,546 --> 01:23:28,504
I brought the truck so
I could bring you a real toilet,
1850
01:23:28,629 --> 01:23:31,171
so you didn't have to dig a hole
to have a shit.
1851
01:23:35,629 --> 01:23:37,462
Now, see? That makes
no sense whatsoever.
1852
01:23:37,587 --> 01:23:39,004
You'll know the front
from the back.
1853
01:23:39,129 --> 01:23:41,212
The front will have
a door in it, you dickhead.
1854
01:23:42,337 --> 01:23:44,296
Next time youse come up with
an idea like this,
1855
01:23:44,421 --> 01:23:46,796
give me a bit of notice
so I can slash me wrists.
1856
01:23:46,921 --> 01:23:49,129
Just relax.
Alright. I'll tell you what.
1857
01:23:49,254 --> 01:23:51,254
All I want from you pair of
buffalo-headed bastards
1858
01:23:51,379 --> 01:23:52,296
on this trip
1859
01:23:52,421 --> 01:23:54,879
is for us to see
the sun come up,
1860
01:23:55,004 --> 01:23:57,129
and be there when the sun goes down.
1861
01:23:57,254 --> 01:23:59,504
In between times,
please yourself,
1862
01:23:59,629 --> 01:24:01,087
but keep out of my bloody hair.
1863
01:24:01,212 --> 01:24:03,212
But just get that up
so a man can have
1864
01:24:03,337 --> 01:24:05,879
somewhere to doss off tonight,
for Christ's sake.
1865
01:24:06,004 --> 01:24:07,879
It'll be up any second, Dad.
1866
01:24:17,129 --> 01:24:18,587
DAVE: He's asleep, isn't he?
1867
01:24:19,712 --> 01:24:21,254
Uh... yeah.
1868
01:24:21,379 --> 01:24:23,962
Look at him.
- He looks peaceful.
1869
01:24:24,087 --> 01:24:25,629
He looks terrifying.
- No, he doesn't.
1870
01:24:25,754 --> 01:24:27,171
He looks peaceful.
1871
01:24:27,296 --> 01:24:28,921
Oh, get out. Jesus.
1872
01:24:29,046 --> 01:24:31,462
Absolute fuckin' frog shit,
and you know it.
1873
01:24:31,587 --> 01:24:33,046
I mean, the bastard's not gonna die.
1874
01:24:33,171 --> 01:24:34,796
Jesus Christ.
He's gonna outlive both of us.
1875
01:24:34,921 --> 01:24:36,337
He's like a rhino.
1876
01:24:36,462 --> 01:24:38,421
Is this really that tough
for you, is it, Dave -
1877
01:24:38,546 --> 01:24:40,921
spending, you know,
one night together,
1878
01:24:41,046 --> 01:24:42,462
just you, me and Dad?
1879
01:24:42,587 --> 01:24:45,462
What? You want to wait
until he actually is dying?
1880
01:24:45,587 --> 01:24:47,296
Or until he's dead
and can't do this?
1881
01:24:49,004 --> 01:24:51,254
And you know damn well
why we've come out here.
1882
01:24:51,379 --> 01:24:54,504
You know damn well. This is
where he used to bring Mum.
1883
01:24:57,504 --> 01:25:00,587
(HARMONICA MUSIC)
1884
01:25:11,046 --> 01:25:13,337
Mum's been dead a long time now,
1885
01:25:13,462 --> 01:25:15,254
but, look, a death in the family
1886
01:25:15,379 --> 01:25:17,421
has different effects
on different people.
1887
01:25:17,546 --> 01:25:21,337
For some families,
it brings them closer together.
1888
01:25:21,462 --> 01:25:24,754
But for other families,
you know, like our circus,
1889
01:25:24,879 --> 01:25:28,296
it's Christmas cards
at 20 paces.
1890
01:25:34,796 --> 01:25:36,921
DAD: While I've got
you two fellas here,
1891
01:25:37,046 --> 01:25:39,921
I want to talk to you
about something.
1892
01:25:40,046 --> 01:25:44,962
When I cark it,
I don't want any flash funeral.
1893
01:25:45,087 --> 01:25:48,254
Something nice and simple -
get on with it.
1894
01:25:48,379 --> 01:25:51,046
If either of you two blokes
want to say a couple of words,
1895
01:25:51,129 --> 01:25:52,546
well, that's up to you.
1896
01:25:52,671 --> 01:25:54,254
You can sort that out
after I've gone.
1897
01:25:54,379 --> 01:25:55,796
Just get it over with.
1898
01:25:55,921 --> 01:25:57,629
Tell 'em to light up
the Bunsen burner
1899
01:25:57,754 --> 01:25:59,796
and push her into the oven
and get her going.
1900
01:25:59,921 --> 01:26:02,004
And for Christ's sake,
one other thing.
1901
01:26:02,129 --> 01:26:04,171
Don't let your Uncle Terry
get involved,
1902
01:26:04,296 --> 01:26:05,712
because he'll balls it up,
1903
01:26:05,837 --> 01:26:07,629
like he did at
your grandmother's funeral.
1904
01:26:07,754 --> 01:26:09,421
So keep him
right out of it altogether.
1905
01:26:26,421 --> 01:26:28,837
(CAR HORN HONKS,
MAN YELLS)
1906
01:26:31,046 --> 01:26:33,379
What the bloody hell is it?
DAD: I don't know.
1907
01:26:33,504 --> 01:26:35,587
Could be a bloody bunch of hoons
1908
01:26:35,712 --> 01:26:37,129
spotlight shooting out there.
1909
01:26:37,254 --> 01:26:38,712
For Christ's sake.
1910
01:26:47,754 --> 01:26:49,171
(CAR HORN HONKS)
1911
01:26:49,296 --> 01:26:51,379
MAN: Where the hell are you?
1912
01:26:58,296 --> 01:27:01,046
Jesus. What the bloody hell
would that be doing here?
1913
01:27:01,171 --> 01:27:04,462
It's for me. I'll see you guys
later. I've had a gutful of this.
1914
01:27:04,587 --> 01:27:07,004
What's up with him?
- I have no idea.
1915
01:27:07,129 --> 01:27:08,629
Jesus, Al,
what took you so long?
1916
01:27:08,754 --> 01:27:10,462
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
1917
01:27:10,587 --> 01:27:12,046
I couldn't find you.
1918
01:27:12,171 --> 01:27:14,212
Well, I'll be buggered.
1919
01:27:17,421 --> 01:27:19,546
Well, you know
what they say, son.
1920
01:27:19,671 --> 01:27:21,712
It's an old saying.
1921
01:27:21,837 --> 01:27:25,671
"The chef always ruins
his first batch of scones."
1922
01:27:25,796 --> 01:27:28,671
And there goes
my first burnt offering there.
1923
01:27:28,796 --> 01:27:32,379
He's as useless
as tits on a bull.
1924
01:27:33,712 --> 01:27:35,296
Maybe he had to go back to work
1925
01:27:35,421 --> 01:27:36,629
for an important meeting or...
1926
01:27:36,754 --> 01:27:39,421
Kenny, you've gotta
stop doing that, boy.
1927
01:27:39,504 --> 01:27:40,921
The trouble is with you, son,
1928
01:27:41,046 --> 01:27:43,712
you've been... walking
in his shadow for so long.
1929
01:27:43,837 --> 01:27:46,046
Don't you realise,
if you take a step to the side,
1930
01:27:46,171 --> 01:27:47,671
you'll cast a shadow
of your own?
1931
01:27:47,796 --> 01:27:50,837
Let some other bastard
walk in yours for a change.
1932
01:27:50,962 --> 01:27:53,004
Wake up to yourself,
for Christ's sake.
1933
01:27:53,129 --> 01:27:54,587
I'm going to bed.
1934
01:27:57,671 --> 01:27:59,171
Dad?
1935
01:27:59,296 --> 01:28:00,754
Yeah, what is it?
1936
01:28:01,962 --> 01:28:04,212
I've... I've been offered
a promotion.
1937
01:28:04,337 --> 01:28:07,254
You've been offered a what?
- A promotion.
1938
01:28:07,379 --> 01:28:08,796
Glenn said he was impressed with
1939
01:28:08,921 --> 01:28:11,837
the sale I did to
the Japanese in America,
1940
01:28:11,962 --> 01:28:14,796
and he's asked me to
run the office in Sydney.
1941
01:28:14,921 --> 01:28:16,337
Well, that's good.
1942
01:28:16,462 --> 01:28:18,421
When do you kick oft?
When do you start her?
1943
01:28:18,546 --> 01:28:21,212
Oh, I haven't said yes yet.
I'm trying to make my mind up.
1944
01:28:21,296 --> 01:28:23,546
What do you mean?
Why haven't you said yes yet?
1945
01:28:23,671 --> 01:28:25,087
Well, you know,
I've gotta decide
1946
01:28:25,212 --> 01:28:27,629
whether I want to be
off the road, you know,
1947
01:28:27,754 --> 01:28:29,587
and I've been working
with the crew in Melbourne
1948
01:28:29,712 --> 01:28:31,129
for a long while, Dad.
1949
01:28:31,254 --> 01:28:32,796
Yeah, but what do you
want to do?
1950
01:28:32,921 --> 01:28:35,129
Do you want to be
a crap crawler all your life?
1951
01:28:35,254 --> 01:28:37,754
This is your chance for you
to get out of the shit.
1952
01:28:37,879 --> 01:28:41,504
But I don't know if
I'm cut out for just a desk job.
1953
01:28:41,629 --> 01:28:43,879
Well, you'll never know
until you give it a try.
1954
01:28:44,004 --> 01:28:45,421
Don't you realise in this world
1955
01:28:45,546 --> 01:28:49,004
that people don't look up to you
until you're sitting down?
1956
01:28:49,129 --> 01:28:50,546
Take the desk job.
1957
01:28:50,671 --> 01:28:53,504
I actually don't want to be
away from the boy, Dad.
1958
01:28:53,629 --> 01:28:55,254
I don't want to be
away from Jesse.
1959
01:28:55,379 --> 01:28:56,796
I know you've got Jesse.
1960
01:28:56,921 --> 01:28:58,337
Of course I know
you've got Jesse.
1961
01:28:58,462 --> 01:29:00,296
And you've got a great relationship with
him too.
1962
01:29:00,421 --> 01:29:01,837
But do you think when he's 16
1963
01:29:01,962 --> 01:29:04,754
he'll want you to be driving him
to school in the crap cart?
1964
01:29:04,879 --> 01:29:07,671
You're gonna do
your same old caper, are you?
1965
01:29:07,796 --> 01:29:10,754
Take a backward step and let everyone
stand all over you?
1966
01:29:10,879 --> 01:29:13,087
I just need a bit of time
to think about it.
1967
01:29:13,212 --> 01:29:15,587
Glenn doesn't want an answer
for a few days yet.
1968
01:29:15,712 --> 01:29:17,962
So I've just gotta get
through the Melbourne Cup,
1969
01:29:18,087 --> 01:29:19,504
and once I've survived that...
1970
01:29:19,629 --> 01:29:21,212
Survive the Melbourne Cup.
1971
01:29:21,337 --> 01:29:23,629
The Melbourne Cup's
been survived for 200 years.
1972
01:29:23,754 --> 01:29:26,587
But, anyway,
you run your own race.
1973
01:29:26,712 --> 01:29:28,421
Just put that bloody light off,
will you?
1974
01:29:28,546 --> 01:29:30,421
I've gotta get a bit of sleep.
1975
01:29:31,546 --> 01:29:33,671
Goodnight, Dad.
- Goodnight, son.
1976
01:29:55,212 --> 01:29:57,587
(CAR HORN HONKS)
What's going on here?
1977
01:29:57,712 --> 01:29:59,171
Just hang on a sec.
1978
01:30:01,337 --> 01:30:02,754
G'day, mate.
- Hello.
1979
01:30:02,879 --> 01:30:04,546
You're up early. How are you?
- Good.
1980
01:30:04,671 --> 01:30:06,671
Didn't expect to see you.
1981
01:30:06,796 --> 01:30:09,587
Just go and sit up on the fork.
1982
01:30:09,712 --> 01:30:10,629
G'day.
1983
01:30:10,754 --> 01:30:12,379
What are you doing here?
- I'm a bit early.
1984
01:30:12,504 --> 01:30:16,087
A bit early? You're four days early. I
said Saturday.
1985
01:30:16,212 --> 01:30:18,046
This has been organised
for a month, Kenny.
1986
01:30:18,171 --> 01:30:19,837
Today is Melbourne Cup.
1987
01:30:19,962 --> 01:30:22,504
You can't leave him... you can't leave
him with me today.
1988
01:30:22,629 --> 01:30:24,046
I can't...
You wrote it down.
1989
01:30:24,171 --> 01:30:25,712
Didn't you write it down,
for God's sake?
1990
01:30:25,837 --> 01:30:27,671
I wrote down 'Saturday'.
- You wrote down 'Saturday'?
1991
01:30:27,796 --> 01:30:29,421
WOMAN: You're an arsehole, Kenny.
1992
01:30:29,546 --> 01:30:31,921
Oh, g'day, Julie. How's Bill?
1993
01:30:32,046 --> 01:30:34,254
None of your bloody business.
- Fair enough.
1994
01:30:34,379 --> 01:30:35,796
Kenny, you're having him.
1995
01:30:35,921 --> 01:30:37,712
This is unbelievable.
1996
01:30:37,837 --> 01:30:40,962
Wave goodbye
to your mother and Julie.
1997
01:30:41,087 --> 01:30:42,504
You right?
- Yeah.
1998
01:30:42,629 --> 01:30:44,046
Good to see you, mate.
1999
01:30:44,171 --> 01:30:45,671
I wasn't expecting
to see you today.
2000
01:30:49,754 --> 01:30:52,046
Well, as you know,
today is, without a doubt,
2001
01:30:52,171 --> 01:30:54,087
the busiest day on our calendar.
2002
01:30:54,212 --> 01:30:57,962
And, unfortunately,
this year we're two men down.
2003
01:31:01,212 --> 01:31:03,629
So, we've got 116 units
here today,
2004
01:31:03,754 --> 01:31:07,254
and today there's gonna be
over 150-odd thousand people
2005
01:31:07,379 --> 01:31:08,796
crammed in here.
2006
01:31:08,921 --> 01:31:12,254
So, today, I'm gonna have to
ask for 273% out of youse.
2007
01:31:12,379 --> 01:31:13,796
But we're gonna get
flogged today.
2008
01:31:13,921 --> 01:31:15,337
We're gonna be busier than
2009
01:31:15,462 --> 01:31:17,171
a one-armed bricklayer
in Baghdad.
2010
01:31:17,296 --> 01:31:19,212
We're gonna have to
make sure we all put in.
2011
01:31:35,879 --> 01:31:37,921
There you go.
Now you're one of the team.
2012
01:31:40,296 --> 01:31:42,421
Two rolls, mate. Excellent.
2013
01:31:44,629 --> 01:31:46,046
They haven't given us much room
2014
01:31:46,171 --> 01:31:47,254
to turn around, have they?
2015
01:31:47,379 --> 01:31:48,337
No.
2016
01:31:49,504 --> 01:31:52,337
You alright, Jess?
Thanks, mate.
2017
01:31:52,462 --> 01:31:53,879
Is he coming up there?
2018
01:31:54,004 --> 01:31:55,921
No, mate,
he's going out the back now.
2019
01:31:56,046 --> 01:31:57,504
He's gotta do one more unit.
2020
01:32:08,712 --> 01:32:10,129
We'll call that one done, mate.
2021
01:32:10,254 --> 01:32:12,046
What do you say?
It looks alright, doesn't it?
2022
01:32:12,171 --> 01:32:13,587
If you grab that trolley...
2023
01:32:13,712 --> 01:32:17,379
Really and truly, have you got
this child here cleaning toilets?
2024
01:32:17,504 --> 01:32:19,546
Oh, no, he's not any kid.
That's my son.
2025
01:32:19,671 --> 01:32:21,671
YOUNG WOMAN: What's he doing
cleaning toilets?
2026
01:32:21,796 --> 01:32:24,212
This is no place
for a child to be around
2027
01:32:24,337 --> 01:32:26,879
the toilets
at a public racecourse.
2028
01:32:27,004 --> 01:32:29,046
It's a disgrace.
- I'm sorry you feel like that.
2029
01:32:29,171 --> 01:32:31,754
He should not have... What
sort of diseases could he get?
2030
01:32:31,879 --> 01:32:34,087
That's disgusting.
Sorry you feel that way.
2031
01:32:34,212 --> 01:32:35,921
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
2032
01:32:36,046 --> 01:32:38,087
You right, mate?
Grab it from the handle, mate.
2033
01:32:43,046 --> 01:32:44,629
But I want to stay with you.
2034
01:32:44,754 --> 01:32:46,962
I know that, mate.
I'd love to have you with me.
2035
01:32:47,087 --> 01:32:49,171
But we might get
a few less complaints that way.
2036
01:32:49,296 --> 01:32:50,712
I might just get you...
2037
01:32:50,837 --> 01:32:53,212
Look, you'll be right here.
Look, prop yourself up here.
2038
01:32:53,337 --> 01:32:55,296
Here's... Open these up.
2039
01:32:55,421 --> 01:32:57,962
And, I don't know, make a little
poo ticket castle or something.
2040
01:32:58,087 --> 01:33:00,504
Hayley will give you a pen or something
to draw with, right?
2041
01:33:00,629 --> 01:33:02,671
I won't be long, mate.
I won't be a tick.
2042
01:33:02,796 --> 01:33:05,379
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
2043
01:33:07,171 --> 01:33:08,712
Hello?
2044
01:33:08,837 --> 01:33:10,671
Oh, g'day, Dad. What's wrong?
2045
01:33:10,796 --> 01:33:12,587
Well, you don't have
to worry about what it's...
2046
01:33:12,712 --> 01:33:13,754
It's not gonna feel
like anything.
2047
01:33:13,879 --> 01:33:14,796
You're gonna be asleep.
2048
01:33:14,921 --> 01:33:16,962
I've told you a hundred times, it's a
simple op.
2049
01:33:17,087 --> 01:33:19,296
What, do you reckon they get you to
handle the instruments?
2050
01:33:19,421 --> 01:33:20,837
You're asleep during
the whole thing, Dad.
2051
01:33:20,962 --> 01:33:22,379
What's wrong?
2052
01:33:22,504 --> 01:33:26,087
Well, we've got a ruptured hose
at the back of this unit...
2053
01:33:26,212 --> 01:33:27,129
Yeah.
2054
01:33:27,254 --> 01:33:29,046
...and a lot of piss
coming out of it.
2055
01:33:29,171 --> 01:33:30,879
We've got people
walking through it.
2056
01:33:31,004 --> 01:33:34,171
Well, just cut the hose beside it
so that water's coming out.
2057
01:33:34,296 --> 01:33:35,921
People won't know
the difference.
2058
01:33:36,046 --> 01:33:37,462
But these are $100 shoes.
2059
01:33:37,587 --> 01:33:39,629
I nearly fell over and
I've ruined my shoes.
2060
01:33:39,754 --> 01:33:41,296
Well, they seem to be
alright now, love.
2061
01:33:41,421 --> 01:33:43,754
(WIND HOWLS, RAIN POURS)
2062
01:33:47,129 --> 01:33:48,587
This is not good.
2063
01:34:03,712 --> 01:34:05,171
Pump out the poo!
2064
01:34:16,962 --> 01:34:18,379
You're right, Thommo.
2065
01:34:18,504 --> 01:34:20,462
G'day, mate.
2066
01:34:20,587 --> 01:34:22,337
Where's Jesse?
2067
01:34:22,462 --> 01:34:24,129
HAYLEY: He went after you.
2068
01:34:24,254 --> 01:34:25,879
What do you mean
he went after me?
2069
01:34:26,004 --> 01:34:27,421
He said he knew where you were.
2070
01:34:27,546 --> 01:34:28,962
He was going to meet you.
2071
01:34:29,087 --> 01:34:30,629
He's what?
- Gone to meet you for lunch.
2072
01:34:30,754 --> 01:34:32,462
He hasn't gone looking
for me out there?
2073
01:34:32,587 --> 01:34:34,004
Yeah, he went to meet you.
2074
01:34:34,129 --> 01:34:37,671
Hayley, there's 120,000 people.
He was supposed to stay here.
2075
01:34:37,796 --> 01:34:40,587
Um... Oh, Jesus!
2076
01:34:40,712 --> 01:34:42,671
Oh, Jesus Christ!
2077
01:34:46,962 --> 01:34:49,379
Yes... Oh...
2078
01:34:49,504 --> 01:34:51,337
Dad, I haven't got time...
2079
01:34:51,462 --> 01:34:53,421
Of course they're gonna come and give
you a needle.
2080
01:34:53,546 --> 01:34:54,962
That's how they
put you to sleep.
2081
01:34:55,087 --> 01:34:56,671
Did you think
they were gonna read you
2082
01:34:56,796 --> 01:34:57,712
a bloody bedtime story?
2083
01:34:57,837 --> 01:34:59,379
Will you shut up
and listen to me?
2084
01:34:59,504 --> 01:35:02,212
I have to go. I've lost the
little boy. No, I'll explain later.
2085
01:35:04,587 --> 01:35:06,421
He can't be down there.
2086
01:35:06,546 --> 01:35:07,462
This is madness.
2087
01:35:07,587 --> 01:35:09,796
I don't know how I'm gonna find him in
all this.
2088
01:35:09,921 --> 01:35:11,879
I mean, look at it.
And this joint is enormous.
2089
01:35:12,004 --> 01:35:15,421
And I don't know... There's a...
2090
01:35:23,046 --> 01:35:25,754
He can't have gone in there.
He hasn't got a...
2091
01:35:25,879 --> 01:35:28,629
Well, I hope he hasn't gone
in there. He hasn't got a pass.
2092
01:35:32,171 --> 01:35:34,629
(THUD!)
Oh, Jesus Christ!
2093
01:35:34,754 --> 01:35:36,671
Jeez, mate, are you alright?
- He's right. Get up.
2094
01:35:36,796 --> 01:35:39,337
Mate, are you alright?
- Yeah, he's alright. Don't worry.
2095
01:35:39,462 --> 01:35:40,462
He's alright?
- Yeah.
2096
01:35:40,587 --> 01:35:42,004
Are you sure he's alright?
- Get up.
2097
01:35:42,129 --> 01:35:44,171
You're embarrassing me.
Them girls will be here shortly.
2098
01:35:47,379 --> 01:35:48,337
Oh...
2099
01:35:51,962 --> 01:35:54,212
You haven't seen a kid,
have you? A small boy?
2100
01:35:54,337 --> 01:35:56,879
Haven't seen a little boy,
have you? A little kid? No?
2101
01:35:57,004 --> 01:36:01,462
Excuse me. Sorry.
Excuse me. Oh, God.
2102
01:36:05,171 --> 01:36:07,004
Oh, there he is.
There he is, there.
2103
01:36:07,129 --> 01:36:09,171
Where was he?
Where did you find him?
2104
01:36:09,296 --> 01:36:10,879
The boys found him
down near the toilets.
2105
01:36:11,004 --> 01:36:13,087
Oh, you were down at the toilet?
You're a smart boy.
2106
01:36:13,212 --> 01:36:14,629
I didn't even think
of looking there.
2107
01:36:14,754 --> 01:36:15,671
I should've known, shouldn't I?
2108
01:36:15,796 --> 01:36:18,004
I've got you back
and I won't lose you again, eh?
2109
01:36:18,129 --> 01:36:19,587
JESSE: Mmm.
2110
01:36:20,754 --> 01:36:22,962
I was worried, mate, eh?
2111
01:36:30,837 --> 01:36:33,587
(LAUGHTER)
2112
01:36:41,337 --> 01:36:43,296
Stay asleep. You're right.
2113
01:36:48,629 --> 01:36:51,296
(WOMEN TALK
INDISTINCTLY)
2114
01:36:55,837 --> 01:36:57,421
WOMAN: Oh, my God.
2115
01:36:57,546 --> 01:36:59,379
Oh...
2116
01:37:01,129 --> 01:37:02,546
(Woman cheers)
2117
01:37:02,671 --> 01:37:05,796
It's open! Come on! Come on!
2118
01:37:08,671 --> 01:37:11,712
You know, when people look
embarrassed or ashamed
2119
01:37:11,837 --> 01:37:13,254
at what I do,
2120
01:37:13,379 --> 01:37:15,212
I don't try
and convince them otherwise.
2121
01:37:15,337 --> 01:37:17,379
I don't try and beautify
the job that I do
2122
01:37:17,504 --> 01:37:18,921
or make it sound better.
2123
01:37:19,046 --> 01:37:21,296
I mean, if they've got
a problem with what I do
2124
01:37:21,421 --> 01:37:22,837
then it's their problem.
2125
01:37:22,962 --> 01:37:24,504
They've got the problem, not me.
2126
01:37:28,254 --> 01:37:29,754
I was drunk at a party once,
2127
01:37:29,879 --> 01:37:31,296
and I don't normally
snap at people,
2128
01:37:31,421 --> 01:37:34,462
but I had a woman say to me
when I told her what I did,
2129
01:37:34,587 --> 01:37:35,754
she said, "How disgusting!
2130
01:37:35,879 --> 01:37:37,296
"I don't want to hear
about that."
2131
01:37:37,421 --> 01:37:39,629
And I said, "Well, how about
you go out in protest
2132
01:37:39,754 --> 01:37:42,212
"and never have a crap again, lady, see
how long you last."
2133
01:37:42,337 --> 01:37:45,962
Hey, matey. Don't park.
I'm just about to pull out, mate.
2134
01:37:46,087 --> 01:37:48,129
You're not gonna
park here, are you?
2135
01:37:48,254 --> 01:37:50,046
I'll just be a minute.
2136
01:37:50,171 --> 01:37:51,671
Just gonna be a minute.
2137
01:37:51,796 --> 01:37:54,921
Well, he would've come out
of surgery about an hour ago.
2138
01:37:55,046 --> 01:37:58,296
Yes, Smyth. S-M-Y-T-H.
2139
01:38:03,837 --> 01:38:05,754
Dad? How are you?
2140
01:38:07,087 --> 01:38:09,296
Yeah, how you feeling?
2141
01:38:09,421 --> 01:38:12,254
I don't think I've ever thought
about doing another job.
2142
01:38:12,379 --> 01:38:13,879
Plumbing is all I've ever known.
2143
01:38:14,004 --> 01:38:17,921
You know, I'd love to have
flown an aeroplane,
2144
01:38:18,046 --> 01:38:20,921
I'd love to... I don't know,
write great music,
2145
01:38:21,046 --> 01:38:24,004
but I guess, they're
like everyone, they're dreams,
2146
01:38:24,129 --> 01:38:26,712
but I don't think I've ever been
envious of anyone else
2147
01:38:26,837 --> 01:38:29,421
'cause this is the life I've got.
2148
01:38:30,629 --> 01:38:33,046
Alright, well, I'll see you
in the morning, OK?
2149
01:38:33,171 --> 01:38:34,754
First thing.
2150
01:38:34,879 --> 01:38:37,546
Alright. I love you, Dad. Yep.
2151
01:38:37,671 --> 01:38:40,629
Yeah, I know. Alright, well,
I'll see you in the morning.
2152
01:38:40,754 --> 01:38:42,546
OK. 'Bye.
2153
01:38:45,629 --> 01:38:47,046
Hey, mate.
2154
01:38:47,171 --> 01:38:49,087
Do you want to
move your car now?
2155
01:38:49,212 --> 01:38:51,004
Yeah, mate, I said I'd move it.
It's alright.
2156
01:38:51,129 --> 01:38:53,337
Can we move it now?
- No, we can do it later.
2157
01:38:53,462 --> 01:38:55,004
I want to get going home, mate.
2158
01:38:55,129 --> 01:38:57,629
Relax. Alright? Relax.
2159
01:38:57,754 --> 01:38:59,962
I said I wouldn't be long, alright?
2160
01:39:00,087 --> 01:39:02,504
No, well, can you move it now?
2161
01:39:02,629 --> 01:39:04,379
No, don't worry about it. Alright?
2162
01:39:04,504 --> 01:39:05,921
It's alright. I told you.
2163
01:39:06,046 --> 01:39:10,379
I told you I'll be out, alright?
Relax, alright? No worries.
2164
01:39:10,504 --> 01:39:12,046
Let it go.
2165
01:39:12,171 --> 01:39:13,796
No, you're absolutely right.
2166
01:39:13,921 --> 01:39:17,296
Sorry, I've had a bit of
a bad day. You take your time.
2167
01:39:17,421 --> 01:39:19,546
No worries.
2168
01:39:20,879 --> 01:39:23,712
He's, uh... he's absolutely right.
2169
01:39:23,837 --> 01:39:27,504
Just, uh... relax and let it go.
2170
01:39:27,629 --> 01:39:29,421
Let it go.
2171
01:39:29,546 --> 01:39:32,337
(Cranks pump)
2172
01:39:32,462 --> 01:39:37,171
(Sings) ♪ Australians all
let us ring Joyce
2173
01:39:37,296 --> 01:39:41,837
♪ For she is young and free... ♪
2174
01:39:50,171 --> 01:39:53,129
Oh... hello.
2175
01:39:54,879 --> 01:39:59,712
Relaxing and, uh... letting it go.
2176
01:40:08,587 --> 01:40:10,712
Yeah, no worries. Alright.
2177
01:40:10,837 --> 01:40:13,629
Shall we say 1,500 people?
2178
01:40:13,754 --> 01:40:15,879
Or 1,400? 1,500's fine, yeah.
2179
01:40:16,004 --> 01:40:18,254
And are you serving any food?
2180
01:40:18,379 --> 01:40:21,379
Is there any curries
or spicy foods or...?
2181
01:40:21,504 --> 01:40:22,921
Hey, mate, can you...
2182
01:40:23,046 --> 01:40:24,754
Can I call you back
in 15 minutes?
2183
01:40:24,879 --> 01:40:26,587
Yeah, that'd be great. Sorry.
2184
01:40:26,712 --> 01:40:28,421
Yeah, thanks.
Alright, mate. Thanks.
2185
01:40:32,337 --> 01:40:35,379
('TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS' PLAYS)
2186
01:41:50,212 --> 01:41:52,504
This is all the latest thing, this.
2187
01:41:52,629 --> 01:41:55,462
I've been told by a few mates
whether I've seen these things.
2188
01:41:55,587 --> 01:41:57,379
It's all computerised
and everything.
2189
01:41:57,504 --> 01:42:00,171
Abracadabra,
have a look at that!
2190
01:42:00,296 --> 01:42:02,129
This is... This is exciting.
2191
01:42:02,254 --> 01:42:03,671
I know this sounds a bit crazy,
2192
01:42:03,796 --> 01:42:05,212
but I've been looking
forward to this.
2193
01:42:05,337 --> 01:42:08,671
Have a look at this.
That's like a ride at the show.
2194
01:42:08,796 --> 01:42:11,921
You're kidding me.
Look at this.
2195
01:42:12,046 --> 01:42:15,004
All the poo tickets come out
like a fax machine.
2196
01:42:15,129 --> 01:42:16,462
Look at that.
Water. Hand-dryer.
2197
01:42:16,587 --> 01:42:17,921
That's all automated.
2198
01:42:18,046 --> 01:42:20,379
This is fant...
I've gotta have a go at this.
2199
01:42:20,504 --> 01:42:25,254
I'll, um... I'll shut the door
shut now, so I'll, uh...
2200
01:42:25,379 --> 01:42:27,712
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYS)
Music! Gee, you're kidding me.
2201
01:42:27,837 --> 01:42:28,921
Space-age technology.
2202
01:42:29,046 --> 01:42:30,379
It's made its way
into everything.
2203
01:42:30,504 --> 01:42:32,421
Good luck, mate.
Yep.
2204
01:42:32,546 --> 01:42:34,129
Mention my name,
you'll get a good seat.
2205
01:42:34,254 --> 01:42:37,587
There you go.
That's the future, eh?
2206
01:42:40,504 --> 01:42:43,796
You know, I've often wondered
how different my life would be
2207
01:42:43,921 --> 01:42:45,879
if shit didn't stink.
2208
01:42:46,004 --> 01:42:48,379
You know, if it smelt nice
2209
01:42:48,504 --> 01:42:50,879
like flowers or potpourri,
you know?
2210
01:42:51,004 --> 01:42:52,837
You know, imagine,
then you'd be able to go
2211
01:42:52,962 --> 01:42:54,379
to someone's house
2212
01:42:54,504 --> 01:42:56,796
and say, "I'd like
to use your crapper."
2213
01:42:56,921 --> 01:42:59,671
And they'd be like,
"Oh, fantastic.
2214
01:42:59,796 --> 01:43:03,796
"Last time you were over here,
oooh, sensational!
2215
01:43:03,921 --> 01:43:07,212
"What was that smell, Ken?
Lavender?"
2216
01:43:07,337 --> 01:43:09,546
But it's... it's not gonna happen
2217
01:43:09,671 --> 01:43:11,629
'cause it doesn't
smell like lavender,
2218
01:43:11,754 --> 01:43:13,962
it smells like shit.
2219
01:43:14,087 --> 01:43:15,671
That's exactly
what it smells like.
2220
01:43:15,796 --> 01:43:19,879
And I have a feeling it's always
gonna smell like that.